Test average maintenance

Matthew Hayden 12, Ricky Ponting 0, Mike Hussey 0.

Get back in your hole!Bring ’em down. Bring ’em down to a sensible level.

Those three think they’re so good. They think they can bat in any conditions against any bowler. They think they’re ‘all that’, but they’re not ‘all that’. They are, at most, ‘part of that’.

If they’re so good, let’s see how they bat in a hole; a deep hole; one so deep that they’re effectively batting beneath the level of the stumps. How well would they bat then, eh?

We’d hazard that they wouldn’t bat at all well. Their cover driving would be substantially blunted by their unusually low stance and the lack of a bat with which to hit the ball. Did we mention that they wouldn’t be allowed a bat? Because they wouldn’t.

Let’s see how they’d bat then. In those conditions, with those stipulations being enforced, those three would hardly get any runs at all. We’re sure of it.

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12 Appeals

  1. So you’ve come to bury Ponting not praise him? Seems good to me

  2. They would still dominate in Saddam Hussein’s spider hole.

  3. ah the bittersweet lemony tang of schadenfreude…

    Here’s one Indian fan who will not mind South africa steaming ahead to no.1 position in the icc rankings on the back of a resounding 3-0 thrashing of the aussies.

    Go Proteas!!!

  4. Ooh – So much love and affection to go around!

  5. I would love it if Australia lost this test. I would love it if they slip down the rankings and occupy 3rd or 4th for the next 10 years. I would love it if England can win the next test in India!

  6. hayden is in awful form. how much longer until they drop him? or is he undroppable?

    by the way johnson’s spell towards the end of day two is a huge moment in this series, psychologically if nothing else.

    kallis and co need to believe they can go on to score big hundreds against the aussies. they can, but they don’t believe they can.

    this is the moment that australia are there to be knocked off their perch. if the world doesn’t grab the opportunity, they will rebuild like the $6m dollar man and come back even stronger.

  7. Ne, that is beautiful!!

    I’ve done one for Cricket With Balls too..

    The Church Of Sehwagology

  8. We’re all weak-kneed.

    Gracious thanks.

  9. Ne – with piccies like that, King could start his own 419-scam.

  10. Oh wondrous find Ne!

  11. I cannot take the credit. I got it via the Word (the music magazine) podcast. They got it from Danny Baker apparently.

    Also, I tried to make an incredibly obtuse reference to this, with the Devil Hayden in holes and that: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ipaV4k2n__I

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