Okay, we don’t want you to worry, but things are really getting out of hand now. The nation is going FULLY MENTAL as we approach the climax of the County Championship. You’d better brace yourself, because the story that follows is pretty damn alarming.
Okay, so we were buying a sandwich yesterday. It was chicken and bacon on granary, but something terrible happened. We didn’t get any mayonnaise, even though we’d asked for it TWICE. It is quite clear what happened. The girl responsible for constructing the sandwich was obviously wondering whether Andre Adams would be able to make inroads into the Warwickshire batting line-up this week, thus indirectly helping Lancashire’s ailing title challenge.
Things are so out of control, it might be that we have to take some sort of action so as to prevent any deaths. We could storm the relevant county grounds armed with plastic swords or something. Our mate cut his finger while cleaning a bread knife once, so that’s why we’re saying no to real swords. But it’s up to you if you want to take the risk.