Virat Kohli dealing in daddies and doubles

Virat Kohli (CC licensed by James Cullen via Flickr)

Virat Kohli (CC licensed by James Cullen via Flickr)

Is ‘supersizing’ still a thing or did it die out after that Morgan Spurlock film? We’re old enough now that we should probably research our knee-jerk cultural references to see whether they still apply. Let’s not bother and just assume that this one’s still current.

Virat Kohli had never hit a Test double hundred until July 2016. He now has four of them. His other hundred in that period, 167 against England at Visakhapatnam, was a mere daddy – an innings so mundane, we didn’t even write about it.

We were in McDonald’s in York about 20 years ago. We’ve a vague notion that the cooker had broken but can offer no defence beyond that. There was an American guy ahead of us in the queue. He was one of those touring Americans who likes to enjoy his trip by loudly proclaiming how much bigger and better everything is in his home country.

“You see how there’s a medium and a large on the menu,” he said. “In the US, everything is large.”

Another person might have seen this as a lack of choice, but he could only see merit in it. Everything’s bigger, you see. And bigger’s better.

Virat Kohli currently gets his hundreds from a possibly fictitious 1997 McDonald’s somewhere in the Midwest.

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22 Appeals

  1. Yes, I recall, on my first visit to the USA, being amused that condoms came in three sizes: large, extra large and jumbo. Presumably nowadays the three sizes of choice are: great, huge and awesome.

    But harping back yet further to my actual youth, I am delighted to announce that I have now Ogblogged my original Bob Willis on the tube sighting, which was also the day of my first ever sighting of test cricket live. Enjoy.

  2. I wonder what your one-time American friend would make of the new-ish concept of ‘vanity sizing’ offered in the likes of Fatface, Topshop, White Stuff (new cultural reference points for you) et al, where the sizes are all smaller to make one feel less of a chubster?

    It would probably blow his tiny (medium) mind.

    • King Cricket

      February 10, 2017 at 11:46 am

      Do they do vanity sizing the other way round as well to make you feel more hench?

      • I think it’s ASOS you want, in that case – “Discover our range of muscle fit shirts at ASOS. Let them know how hard you work & choose your favourite body sculpting, second-skin tight men’s tops.”

        That sentence may require the use of a second hyphen.

      • King Cricket

        February 10, 2017 at 12:38 pm

        Just done four chin-ups. Put us down for an XXXL.

  3. Interesting piece here

    I’m starting to think handing the Test captaincy to the 27-year-old medium fast bowler might not be the worst idea.

  4. I trust we’re all excited for Kent’s involvement in the Regional Super50?

  5. Bet he orders the whole happy meal while he’s at it

  6. Not Stokes. Please not Stokes.

    Big heart does not equal captain.

    • I’m not sure they will ever choose a volatile, fiery maverick to be captain ever again.

      • King Cricket

        February 11, 2017 at 12:20 pm

        Volatile maybe, but Stokes ain’t no maverick.

        Think people have this idea that because he’s a hard-hitting all-rounder, he’s some sort of Botham character, but by all accounts he trains assiduously and deliberately and treats his career with the utmost seriousness.

        We have no strong feelings either way about whether or not he’s captaincy material, but we’re pretty sure there’s way more to him than ‘big heart’.

      • King Cricket

        February 11, 2017 at 12:24 pm

        Went to a comprehensive school in Cumbria though, so don’t know why we’re even discussing it.

      • Stokes to take the reigns when Root stands down?

      • Fair points. But in his short career so far he has been sent home from a tour for boozing, broken his hand by punching a locker, and got into several dust-ups with opposition players involving over-enthusiastic send-offs.

        I just think they’re looking for a safe option as captain nowadays, rather than a temperamental talisman, having seen what happened with Botham, Pietersen and Flintoff.

      • King Cricket

        February 11, 2017 at 2:42 pm

        We’d agree. He’d be more fun than Root though.

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