“Let’s make the shirt maroon and then match that with scarlet trousers and hats, because maroon and scarlet are complementary colours.
“Let’s put some yellow bits here, there and everywhere and then let’s make the collar, ooh, let’s say bright green.
“Finally, as the piece de resistance, let’s put a huge sweat stain right down the front.”
At least it’s got ‘Vampire’ written on it. That’s about a million times better than ‘Adidas’.