England v Australia, third Test, day two
For a proper explanation of why batsmen so often play mental shots when you want them to dig in, see this piece about the psychology of stonewalling.
But it’s Friday and you’ve no time for that right now, so here instead is our top three awful dismissals from England’s Ashes-losing 67 all out.
(And look on the bright side: at least you don’t have to spend an hour sitting indoors watching the Channel 5 highlights show on what is after all a beautiful sunny evening.)
Number 3: Jofra Archer’s periscope
This one was great because GET YOUR BAT OUT OF THE WAY.
Number 2: Ben Stokes’ stretchy waft
This one was great because HOW DID YOU EVEN REACH THAT?
Number 1: Jason Roy’s Jason Roy shot
This one was great because YES THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT WE EXPECTED.
Unlike Archer and Stokes, Roy had laid the groundwork for his awful dismissal by getting out to pointless drives several times previously.
That meant that this awful dismissal wasn’t just annoying, it was predictably annoying, which is of course a higher echelon of annoying altogether.
Roy is now basically James Vince, only without 27 runs of preamble leading up to each dismissal.
Top work, Jason Roy.