It’s got to be done. Brace yourself for some links. Maybe bookmark the page for later but never actually read it. That’s what we’d do.
- Peter Moores said Liberty X were derivative and Kevin Pietersen said that Moores was an inbred Maxonian obsessed with wheelie bin collections. England lost their captain and coach.
- Some crappy batsman called Matthew Hayden retired.
- England got the bat-on-ball to ball-on-stump ratio wrong and were bowled out for 51 by Jerome Taylor.
- Sir Allen Stanford was found to be the kind of guy who’d step over a heart attack victim in order to return their shopping trolley to get the quid from out of it. He was charged with fraud.
- Rob Key took a wicket and therefore became the world’s first 100 percent awesome individual.
- England foolishly played Holland to open the Twenty20 World Cup.
- Shahid Afridi bizarrely renounced pointless risk-taking, but still won the Twenty20 World Cup for Pakistan.
- The Ashes began and we all developed heart defects almost immediately.
- Andrew Flintoff announced his retirement from Tests because of the whole otter-fridge thing.
- Mitchell Johnson was shit.
- We had a dream about a cricket match at Headingley.
- England won the Ashes.
- Australia lost the Ashes.
- Weirdly, nothing happened in September. There wasn’t a seven match one-day series or anything.
- Sachin Tendulkar rendered the result of a one-day match utterly meaningless with one of the greatest innings in defeat.
- We only published THE GREATEST POST OF ALL TIME.