< 1 minute read Many will blame the abandonment of today’s one-day international between England and the West Indies on the weather and Headingley’s new £600,000 drainage system (which apparently won’t reach its full potential until later in the year for some reason). We don’t. We lay the blame firmly at the door of
Continue readingMonth: May 2009
Shoaib Akhtar has genital warts
< 1 minute read Press releases are rarely of this standard. Lahore May 21, 2009: Mr. Shoaib Akhter was examined today by a Medical Board constituted by PCB for the purpose of Clinical assessment/Fitness due to his ongoing current ailment. The Medical Board consists of following experts. 1. Professor Javed Raza Gardezi – Consultant
Continue readingAndrew McDonald instead of Andrew Symonds
< 1 minute read If you don’t know who Andrew McDonald is, imagine a side’s seventh batsman and their fifth bowler. Now imagine he bowls medium-pace. Now wake up again. If it weren’t for having hair that’s such a bright shade of red that it clashes with life itself, Andrew ‘Ronald’ McDonald wouldn’t be
Continue readingJrod’s book
< 1 minute read He claims it’s got better spelling and grammar than the website, but he’s put ‘disrepsective’ on the page where he’s selling the thing, so do you trust him on that? The writer of Cricket With Balls gives us The Year Of The Balls 2008: a cricket disrespective. Part with your
Continue readingCricket headline of the week
< 1 minute read From the BBC website: “Bresnan ready for Flintoff battle” Tim Bresnan must be getting feisty. Wonder what he’s said about Flintoff. “He’s well within his rights to walk straight back into the team on his past performances and what he has done.” Yep. Timmy Bresnan’s ready for battle all right.
Continue readingGlamorgan’s pitch for the first Ashes Test
< 1 minute read Some of you might have seen that Glamorgan were docked two points for producing a duff pitch. This is at the beautifully monikered Swalec Stadium, where the first Ashes Test is due to take place. ‘Oh no,’ people have said. ‘What if the pitch for the Ashes is sub-standard?’ These
Continue readingJames Anderson bowls England to victory
2 minute read James Anderson won this match for England. 5-87 and 4-38. Those are bowling figures that make a difference. James Anderson is now a bowler who makes a difference. ‘Yeah, against the Windies. Wait until he’s playing Australia later in the summer,’ some of you might say. To which we would
Continue readingWhen did England win the Wisden Trophy?
< 1 minute read The West Indies won the Wisden Trophy for the first time in years back in March. Some would say that England regained it today after winning at Chester-le-Street, but they’d be wrong. In reality, England regained the Wisden Trophy the moment the entire West Indian squad gathered round their hastily
Continue readingAn unexpected manufacturer of cricket equipment
< 1 minute read Do you know who makes the light meters that the umpires use to ruin people’s days? Do you? Do you? It’s only Megatron. From the Megatron website: “Megatron manufactures photoelectric cells and instruments for measuring light.” It’s a strange choice of career for a gun that can transform into a
Continue readingChris Gayle ‘celebrates’ a fifty
< 1 minute read When Chris Gayle reached his fifty today, he punched the air with both hands and then shook his head. Maybe he doesn’t think this Test feels like much of an occasion. We don’t know exactly, but to us it seemed like a cricketer who didn’t think much of his own
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