2013 County Championship – chapter three

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There was a fair bit of noteworthy action in the County Championship this week. The good news for us is that we don’t have to write about much of it because it didn’t particularly affect the top of the table. The good news for you is that we therefore won’t feel we need to repeat our dull-the-first-time point about England players performing well in early season matches, because that’s kind of the theme of what’s been omitted.

1st – Middlesex

Still top and they didn’t even play.

2nd – Warwickshire

Warwickshire conceded a huge first innings lead to Somerset, for whom Alviro Petersen and Jos Buttler scored hundreds, but they then managed to hold on for the draw, finishing nine wickets down. Rikki Clarke followed his 4-70 in Somerset’s first innings with 61 not out in Warwickshire’s second, which is the kind of low octane competence we anticipated when we decided to monitor his performances this season. Varun Chopra made 108 in Warwickshire’s second innings and he’s a player many people are talking about, but not us because we can’t be bothered. Nick Compton made a second innings hundred for Somerset. That was something else that happened in this match.

3rd – Sussex

Sussex made 526, but drew with Surrey at least partly because it takes ages to make 526. Luke Wells made 208 before somehow contriving to get himself bowled by Vikram Solanki. Chris Jordan took 5-92 in Surrey’s first innings and it struck us he was having a good season – he also took six against Yorkshire – but then he took 0-63 in the second innings, which impressed no-one.

The next chapter

Sussex play Warwickshire next week in an early season near-the-top-of-the-table clash. Middlesex again take the week off. Lord knows what they’re doing with themselves. They’re probably out robbing sweets and vandalising cars and that sort of stuff.



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  1. hey what up, somerset bottled it (again) – people will be starting to wonder about the optimal time to drop the dreaded “c-word” so beloved of the saffers 😉

    i was actually following that fucken match too

  2. “They’re probably out robbing sweets and vandalising cars and that sort of stuff.”

    Sounds more like Surrey. Middlesex are probably out brewing a nice cup of tea and doing a bit of gardening.

  3. Robbing sweets and vandalising cars? Middlesex cricketers leave that sort of oikish activity to fellows from the other first class counties.

    Our fine Middlesex fellows have been enjoying their well earned break by reading Camus and practicing Pilates.

    Actually Middlesex don’t have another whole week off; weather permitting we take on the old enemy from thursday.

  4. Could be worse. Leicestershire seem to be actively campaigning to have their first class status removed. They lost to a bunch of students this week.

    1. Don’t you think Leicestershire has missed a trick this season, what with the current Richard III obsession in Leicester? Nottinghamshire’s entire marketing strategy is based on a Medieval character, so surely Leicestershire could do something with one that actually existed. I was thinking of a team rebranding – The Leicestershire Hunchbacks, maybe. Or the Leicestershire Usurpers. Or how about the Leicestershire Child Murderers?

    2. Arse-stabbers? That was Edward II, wasn’t it (or wasn’t, since it didn’t happen)?

      Perhaps the Leicestershire Yorkists?

      Or, the Leicestershire Attenboroughs? The Humperdincks? The Showaddywaddys?

    3. There was some evidence in the Richard III post mortem that he was slung over a horse and stabbed in the buttocks after his head was stove in. The county of origin of his ghoulish assailants is a matter for conjecture.

  5. Incredible scenes at Taunton. I watched the last hour through my fingers. Awful umpiring though. Nick Cook needs to get himself to the optician. And the hearing aid shop. And probably the job centre.

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