Let’s close our eyes to England’s filthy performance and instead imagine we’re in Sri Lanka. The sun is shining, monkeys are rife, you’re having string hoppers for breakfast and Sri Lanka are playing India in Colombo.
They’ll already have started by now and Ajantha Mendis should be playing. Unfortunately, Lasith Malinga‘s injured, so we’re going to be denied the most irregular, misshapen bowling attack of all time for a little while longer.
Murali will be playing though. With him at one end and Mendis at the other, the bowling will still be twice as weird as the next oddest attack, which was probably Alastair Cook’s round-arm spoddery as the Lord’s Test bored its way to a close.
To doing the EXACT OPPOSITE of what everyone tells you to do and getting to play for Sri Lanka as a consequence!