Alastair Cook’s back

Apparently Alastair Cook developed a bad back while flying. This is an ability we didn’t know he had.

Those who have been fortunate enough to witness an airborne Cook say he spurns dramatic swoops in favour of steady progress at a consistent altitude and that when bad weather is forecast, he takes an alternate route rather than endure turbulence.

Cook always wears a helmet when flying and has never been tempted to carry out superhero-type work. He considers flight to be an effective and cost-effective form of transportation and nothing more.

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12 Appeals

  1. What is it with test batsmen’s backs? Atherton, Vaughan, Clarke… now Cook has added his name to this list of pathetic weaklings. Clearly there is something wrong with their posture when at the crease for many hours at a time.

    According to the state of medicine this week, the ideal posture to avoid back trouble is slouched on a sofa watching TV. Obviously test batsmen can’t watch TV when playing, that would be ridiculous. But I see no reason why they can’t play from a sofa. Or a chaise longue.

    • might have to cut down their range of strokes a bit (well… those of them that *have* a range of strokes), but i can see how that work… of course, fast bowlers would have to cut out the bouncer altogether…

  2. The headline is misleading – I thought he had returned.

    • I refer you to my comment on the preceding thread last night, APW.

      Do I get 5p per view for this thread, KC, given that the intellectual property of the headline is manifestly mine?

    • King Cricket

      October 30, 2013 at 5:38 pm

      We’ll give you the ‘Alastair Cook’ bit. That was a new addition.

    • Buy the man a sandwich, KC. That should do.

  3. Thats nothing. David Boon had the ability to fly and drink a lot of beer at the same time.

  4. 350 is the new:

    a) 300
    b) 280
    c) 260
    d) minimum par score batting first in a ODI

    (1 pt)

  5. If A.Cook’s back forces him to withdraw from a Test, don’t fear; England have a ready made mirror replacement in that young fella … G.Gooch!

  6. Why are full tosses always rank full tosses?

  7. are they? i thought that was rank long hops

  8. Are all Full tosses and Long Hops sponsored by Rank Group in a DLF Maximum sort of way?

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