< 1 minute read If you haven’t already seen, Jesse Ryder is in an induced coma after being assaulted. He has a fractured skull. We aren’t going to write too much about this, because the site is the wrong tone for that kind of news and therefore it just doesn’t seem appropriate. For similar
Continue readingCategory: New Zealand
The barometer says England never looked like winning
< 1 minute read Talk of an England win has been unjustifiably common during this Test. You never know what’s likely to happen in a match, but you can tailor conversation according to likelihood and at no point has an England victory seemed probable. Even talking about how they could possibly engineer a winning
Continue readingTwo-metre Peter from New Zealand
< 1 minute read He has one of our favourite nicknames in international cricket, so we’re secretly slightly pleased that Peter Fulton scored a hundred against England because it means he should get a few more matches. Set against that is the fact that he was averaging 23 before the first day’s play, so
Continue readingWhy are we goading Tlaloc?
< 1 minute read You see what happens? You see what happens? This is what happens. This is what happens when you goad Tlaloc, the Aztec rain god who loves Test cricket. Tlaloc has really been looking forward to the series between New Zealand and England, but then he found out about the schedule
Continue readingNew Zealand opt to bowl and then bowl
< 1 minute read Some believe that Brendon McCullum’s decision to bowl in Wellington was partly as a result of his decision to bat and then bowl on the first morning of a Test against South Africa at the start of the year. If so, he’s an idiot. The other alternatives are (1) that
Continue readingHamish Rutherford turned it round through caffeine and beer
< 1 minute read There’s a lesson for everyone here. Hamish Rutherford has just middled we don’t know how many deliveries for four through the covers in one of those clean, brutal innings you can’t help but admire. And yet a year ago, he couldn’t even get a game for Otago. How did he
Continue readingBrendon McCullum’s tactics in the field
2 minute read Brendon McCullum’s captaincy was soiled at birth due to having arrived via the feculent womb of Mike Hesson, but just because Hesson’s man management skills are staggeringly inept, doesn’t mean McCullum is a bad captain. Asking questions Commentators always talk about asking questions of a batsman. This is rarely a
Continue readingGossip from day one of New Zealand v England
< 1 minute read Are you a cricket writer working for a national newspaper? Are you struggling to find something to write after day one of the first Test between New Zealand and England was washed out? Have no fear, after spending almost a full minute looking at photos on Cricinfo, we can exclusively
Continue readingNew Zealand beat a South Africa team
< 1 minute read Well played Kane Williamson for scoring 145 not out and well played the rest of you for fielding competently. We’re sure he’ll be delighted about it, but we’re not too sure that Captain Brendon McCullum can take enormous pride in beating a South Africa side featuring the following luminaries: Quinton
Continue readingNew Zealand welcome opportunity to pretend they would have liked the opportunity to salvage some pride
< 1 minute read This website is against two-Test series, but some people like them. Secretly, New Zealand will be delighted that they don’t have to adopt stern facial expressions in order to state that they are desperate to make amends for previous performances in the third Test. Instead, the players can claim to
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