Darren Pattinson jumps the queue

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< 1 minute read

We’ll give Darren Pattinson a chance, but…

(1) It’s not being Australian that makes someone a good cricketer. Australia themselves leave out plenty of Australians from their Test side.
(2) Trent Bridge, where Pattinson plays half his cricket, is kind to swing bowlers.
(3) If Chris Tremlett is first reserve, then Chris Tremlett is first reserve – there’s surely a reason behind it.

Also, he’s not young and nor does he have much first-class experience.

Good luck to him though and thank you selectors for keeping things, er, interesting.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. He seems like just the sort of player Fletcher would hate. Meduim fast, chest-on swing bowler who can’t bat.

    That said, Matin Saggers?

  2. Did this Pattinson guy win a competition to be an England player for the day or something? What a kick in the nuts for Jones, Hoggard, and indeed any bowler who isn’t just randomly having a handful of good games in helpful conditions.

  3. Does he have incriminating photos of the Selection Committee engaging in some unsavoury practices?

  4. Or tremlett, jones, hoggard and harmison engaging in some unsavoury practices? (hopefully not at the same time).

  5. Was anyone else listening to TMS during the conclusion of England’s innings?

    I could sworn CMJ mentioned that Morkel and Steyn were kissing! Please someone tell me I’m making this up.

  6. I heard that too! I’m hoping it was a continental footballer style peck on the cheek rather than some full on man love by the popping crease…although it is a low total…..

  7. Morkel and Dale clearly kissed. I wat6ch out for these sort of things. It was a peck on the cheek, there were no tongues.

  8. The amazin thing about Taggart right is that it is really just like life and how we live it and that, so thats what I love about Taggart. Cos he is fat and old and sometimes I feel fat and old (I aint, I am fit and young) but you get what I am mainly saying yeah? That sometimes I feeeeeeel fat and old. And the little ginger gay one yeah? well I never feel gay cos I just don’t. I don’t hate gays, I just love me ladies and their curvey legs and shit, that’s all. I NEVER feel gay. But sometimes, like after a massiv weekend with Blaze and Naticia, sometimes I feeel a bit ginger. Me eyes feel dusty, me tummy feel empty but not hungry and things move too fast and I think that is what it must feel like to be that little gay scottish ginger police man.

    And that ugly woman who was in it when it was called Taggart cos Taggart was in it and whose still in it? After a mental week of slip sliding with Rox and Rhiana well sometimes I can just about feel like what it must feel like when she look in the mirror and see her own face and think that she got to go into scottish flats with fat new Taggart and prod dead bodies all day.

    But the best thing is, when me clothes are respected, me hair is razzed and the tunes are flyin and the ladies lookin’, that’s when I feel like Robbie.

    That’s why Taagart is like my life.

  9. Did Tremlett run over Geoff Miller’s dog or something? At this rate, I’ll be called up for the Test side before him.

  10. Get a grip! Tremlett is far too ugly to make it to the test team these days!

    And now there is continental style kissing in the Saffer bowling ranks – Lardy boys’ days could be numbered too.

  11. Presumably this means that the selectors think Chris Tremlett is good at carrying towels and remembering whose drink is which, but crap at actual cricket.

  12. Maybe they think the twelfth man needs to be as scary as Andre Nel for the purposes of umpire intimidation. Chris Tremlett at least looks scary, even if we know he’s really a Very Nice Man. Hence, towel-carrying duties.

    That said, if I were a scary man choosing accessories, Egyptian cotton is not the way I’d go.

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