You’d have to say that England chasing down 341 at Trent Bridge is no longer newsworthy. (We swear they’re better at chasing 350 than 200 by this point).
That leaves us with this: Shoaib Malik flat-batting his own stumps like an absolute gimboid.
As dismissals go, it was sub-village. If we had to place it on the hierarchy, we’d have it down as a pissed-up-beach-cricket way to get out. All the same, we’re surprised it doesn’t happen more often. Batsmen often retreat so far into their crease to play a shot it’s a wonder the ball doesn’t actually hit the stumps before it gets to them.
On Test Match Special, Graeme Swann said he played against Shoaib Malik at the Under-19 World Cup, “and he was one of the older ones.”
Graeme Swann is 40.