England win the World Cup

Charlotte Edwards - captain of AwesomeEngland’s cricketers are so good, it wasn’t even a surprise that they won the World Cup. They’re the best team in the world.

They won 17 matches on the bounce before losing to Australia having already qualified for the final. They won the final (as World Cup winners are wont to do) but no-one was surprised. Journalists had been writing about them as if they were champions all week.

That’s how good this England team is. People expect success AND SUCCESS IS DELIVERED.

We move that England’s cricket team be renamed ‘Awesome’. Not ‘The Awesome Cricket Team’ or ‘England, Wales and Awesome’. Just ‘Awesome’.

New Zealand were the beaten finalists, but frankly, they didn’t stand a chance against Awesome.

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22 Appeals

  1. Thank you for (unlike Charles Colville) refraining from going on about putting the trophy in a handbag for the flight home.

  2. Did he really say that? *headdesk* What a twat.

    Three cheers for Awesome – double brill! Deserving World Champions.

  3. Charles Colvile is an arse.

    Many congratulations to the team – awesome is exactly right!

  4. Agreed.
    He’s the Richard Madeley of cricket.
    A man who I once witnessed on actual television saying:
    “That particular octopus committed suicide, didn’t he? He stabbed himself with his own beak.”
    I’d put it into context, except it wouldn’t help.
    But they are definitely awesome though. And loads of other adjectives.
    It does look like strange trophy in that picture though. Is it a trophy inside a cup? Like a russian doll affair?
    Exciting.

  5. I do hope you mean this o King and have not just been terrified into this by Barbara from the previous post. Perhaps we can set her on ColVILE?

  6. I’m sure I heard Clare Connor cringing when ColVILE said that, all the way from Sydney.

  7. Firstly, Well done Ladies

    Secondly, considering the state of the men’s team at the moment, I am mildly surprised there hasn’t been a suggestion of a change of kit for the boys to include skirts.

    Ohh Lordy, here comes another humiliating ashes series.

  8. Colville is a man who makes Mark Nicholas seem like Richie Benaud, and it takes a Rik Waller sized arse in order for that to happen.

    Even though this topic is about the women’s world cup AWESOME win, just the mere mention of that smug cock-faced man is enough to hijack this thread and deliver it into pure rage.

  9. Barbara has made a valid point.We can no longer ignore women’s cricket as it is one of the fastest growing sports in the UK. In 1996 there were 10,000 girls and women playing.Today there are close to 1 million.Yes, 1 million [Source -Guardian news 18th March’09].Charlotte Edwards earns £40,000- £50,000 compared to KP who picked up £409,405 in 2007.

  10. That’s a very accurate figure for KP’s 2007 earnings, there, V. Especially compared with the ranged estimate for Lotty’s meagre earnings.

    Are you KP’s tax inspector?

  11. We were trying to publish this when Barbara was leaving her comment, but there were technical problems. This annoyed us.

    Can’t believe Colville said that. You can’t teach cockishness like that. Posh, bigoted prick.

  12. You’ll be pleased to know oh king that some things are done right on facebook and there is a group called “Charles Colvile is a penis”. I am of course, if you will excuse the expression, a member.

  13. And there are only 81 members in the group. Surely anyone who has ever had the misfortune to see 3 seconds of this tool in action should join. It should be the most popular group on Facebook.

  14. Poor Clare Connor, when interviewed by him using his special voice for speaking to ladies and children, did try to kill the handbag line of questioning but he persisted, saying something like “come on, we know that ladies have very big handbags”. And then he berated her for being in the hotel bar instead of having a big night on the town with the girls. I wonder if he thinks it’s like some kind of massive hen party, a bit like Saturday night at “Dirty Dancing – The Musical”.

    But well done ladies. AWESOME is the word.

  15. Shame in her very big handbag she wasn’t carrying a very big can of mace to fire in his very big smug face.

  16. 1 million girls playing cricket? I’d love to know how they came up with that one!

    Surveyor: “Have you ever held a bat?”
    Woman: “Yes, once. I used it to chase a spider.”
    Surveyor: *tick*

    v’s stats are all taken from this Grauniad article:
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/mar/18/england-women-cricket-cup-final

    Seriously, that’s 1 in 30 of the female population. Subtract the women “not of sporting age”, and it’d be closer to 1 in 20.

    Interesting reading:
    http://www.statistics.gov.uk/downloads/theme_compendia/sport&leisure.pdf

    As of 2002 then, only 2.4% of the adult GB population (over 16yo) had played cricket during the previous year (p21), with that comprising 5% of all men and a whopping 0% of women (p23). That’s based on a sample of almost 7000 men and 8000 women.

    Okay, so there are lies, damn lies and statistics, and you can confirm anything on the internet…but I find it extremely hard to believe, in the face of such a saddening lack of female participation in competitive sport (I’m not counting “going to the gym” or jogging).

    I absolutely wish it were true, but I suspect the reporter took her figures from the number of schools which claim to feature a bit of Kwik Kricket in mixed/girls PE lessons.

  17. “Your appeal is awaiting judgement from the video umpire.”

    LOVELY touch, KC!

    All that, and I forgot to congratulate the cricketing ladies. Hurrah for Team Awesome!

    Three of my favourite little quirks of cricketing history:
    — First international match: US vs Canada, 1844.
    — First overarm bowling: Victorian ladies whose dresses prevented them from bowling underarm.
    — First World Cup: Women’s, 1973.

  18. mahinda –

    ‘not of sporting age’.

    LOL.

  19. Sam, I have absolutely no idea what you mean.

    *twiddles thumbs*

  20. YOu may have won the world Cup,

    BUT YOU STILL GOT BEATEN BY AUSTRALIA !

  21. But we thrashed India, who beat Australia twice!

  22. I love Mahinda’s line of argument delving into the stats.

    I once saw Dario Fo tell one of his favourite stories about Venice in the Baroque period (late 17th, early 18th century). By delving into the various (but slight) stats available, he was able to prove that every woman in Venice at that time must have either been a nun or a prostitute and many of them must have been both!!

    I wonder how many of them played cricket?

    I’m off to join the appropriate Charles Colville site on Facebook. See you there, everyone.

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