IPL teams in 2009

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Bangalore Royal Challengers

What’s their ‘thing’?
Bought loads of stonewallers, like Jacques Kallis, Rahul Dravid and Shivnarine Chanderpaul and promptly finished second to last in 2008.

New players
Wisely added Robin Uthappa, Kevin Pietersen and Jesse Ryder to their obdurate batting roster.

Chennai Super Kings

What’s their ‘thing’?
Second stupidest name. Either ‘kings’ weren’t supreme enough or it’s a reference to a certain grade of cement hawked by the owner. Both are good reasons.

New players
Bought Andrew Flintoff for three small fortunes.

Delhi Daredevils

What’s their ‘thing’?
Having Mohammad Asif banned for drug taking. Virender Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir open.

New players
Rucks. David Warner, Australia’s sloggy new opener. Andrew ‘Ronald’ McDonald, Australia’s boring new all-rounder who should really spend more time indoors with his complexion. Forgotten man, Ashish Nehra. As well as England’s Owais Shah and Paul Collingwood.

Deccan Chargers

What’s their ‘thing’?
Shahid Afridi slagged off VVS Laxman’s captaincy and said Adam Gilchrist should take over. The owners promptly gave Afridi the boot, before adding: “Also, Adam Gilchrist is the new captain” – something they forgot to mention to Laxman. Charged their way to last place in 2008.

New players
West Indians, Fidel Edwards and Dwayne Smith.

Kolkata Knight Riders

What’s their ‘thing’?
Got to be the ludicrous name, hasn’t it?

New players
Bangladesh’s Mashrafe Mortaza.

Kings XI Punjab

What’s their ‘thing’?
Being a team of 11 equal-billing kings, like some sort of communist monarchy. They’re also ‘our’ team (in the loosest possible sense).

New players
Ravi Bopara and also ‘Burt Cockley’ who we’re going to go and find out more about, right this minute.

Mumbai Indians

What’s their ‘thing’?
Harbhajan Singh slapped his India team mate, Sreesanth. Sreesanth had a cry.

New players
JP Duminy and Kyle Mills.

Rajasthan Royals

What’s their ‘thing’?
Being the cheapskate team that won the IPL in 2008 with Shane Warne leading the way.

New players
Tyron Henderson


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  1. heh.

    Actually, ‘Super’ in the Kings name is very apt- the word is used in all kinds of ways colloquially in Tamil Nadu state (of which Chennai is the captial)- from real to the hilarious.

  2. Burt Cockley! No way is that the real name of a cricketer! Surely he is in fact one of the following:

    – an elderly uncle
    – a real ale enthusiast
    – a morris dancer
    – a folk singer
    – a fisherman
    – an East End publican

  3. So ‘super’ is used as a prefix, even? That’s an interesting development. I think I might use it myself. Can’t let the absolute monarchists have all the fun.

  4. John, Sree does, but Harbhajan plays for (and for a time captained) Mumbai Indians.

    What we wrote was misleading though – we meant they were India team mates.

  5. Is the fact that this ‘preview’ thins out considerably towards the last couple of teams a subtle comment on the way the IPL’s novelty is wearing off, or is it just that there’s not much interesting to say about the Mumbai Indians or Rajasthan Royals?

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