Jerome Taylor’s back

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< 1 minute read

As in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything.

We’ve always liked Jerome Taylor. He tends to bowl quickly, full and straight and that tends to mean more runs and more wickets, which if you think about it is pretty much how a Test match progresses.

If this were a five Test series, we suspect that Taylor would become increasingly bothersome for England, producing that ‘history repeating’ phenomenon where a batsman keeps getting out to the same sort of delivery and starts to question himself, his technique and other important things, such as whether the inclusion of mustard in a recent batch of jerk chicken paste was an accident worth repeating.

But it’s not a five Test series. It’s a three Test series where Taylor missed the middle one. As such, he’ll bowl well and then everyone in England will forget about him and instead obsess about whichever Australian bowler takes most wickets in this summer’s Ashes.

Frustrated with this lack of recognition, Taylor will get himself into a drunken scuffle. But he’s such a class act, he’ll wait until a very, very distant relation has first got the Taylors in credit by winning some sort of award.


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  1. Boycott’s certainly gone on about him enough.

    I’m predicting scores of 1 and 4 for Trott in the next two innings. The 4 will be a streaky edge before the next JT ball makes him play on.

    1. We made a ‘here be drag-ons’ joke about the last Test, but we’ve just realised we only made it on Twitter and forgot to recycle it here.

    2. Did you note all those dragons were on St George’s Day, at St. George?

    3. 38-3. We seem to be 38-3 at some point in most test matches we play nowadays… a good job we bat so far down!

  2. I went to a job interview yesterday. The lady who owns the business was wanting to free up some time so she could be available to give more assistance to her daughter who suffers from ankylosing spondylitis. I’m still not sure I didn’t laugh out loud when she said that. Thanks for nothing, KC.

    1. Kym’s prospective boss’s daughter’s back…

      … is no laughing matter.

    1. As he trudges off after another third-ball duck… should’ve gone with Lyth in that role! (The role of opener, not pretend-opener).

  3. Every time KC mentions ankylosing spondylitis, I have to google it to remind myself what it is. Seemingly some of the factors which negatively affect those afflicted with it include male sex and sausage-like fingers or toes. It’s no laughing matter.

  4. Franklin ‘Death to Flying Things’ Gutierrez of the Seattle Mariners also has anklylosing spondylitis.

    See, baseball is just like cricket, if you squint.

  5. The x’s back as in returned he hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything joke’s back. As in ‘returned’. It hasn’t got Bekhterev Disease or Bechterew’s Disease or Marie–Strümpell Disease or anything.

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