Jofra Archer named in special one-man England squad

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Jofra Archer (via YouTube)

Ahead of the World Cup, England have named a special “we hope someone gets injured so that we can include him without upsetting anyone” squad.

The players included in this squad are as follows:

  • Jofra Archer

Maybe that’s unfair. Maybe it’s a “we’re definitely going to pick him for the World Cup but we don’t want to let on yet” squad.

Or maybe it’s just a plain old “we still haven’t decided” squad.

Whatever it is, nothing has happened. Jofra Archer still isn’t in or out of England’s World Cup squad and nor is anyone else.

Here is a thing to remember in the coming days and weeks whenever you read an article or hear an interview the subtext of which is that Jofra Archer is the difference between England going on to win the World Cup and England not going on to win the World Cup. It can be a hard thing to remember, but it is an important thing to remember.

Despite being a very fine player and comprising an entire cricket squad all on his own, Jofra Archer is almost certainly not the difference between England going on to win the World Cup and England not going on to win the World Cup.


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  1. I see that Archer can make a ball levitate using the power of his mind alone.

    This may be useful for fielding purposes, but I’d be rather more impressed with his bowling if he could make the bails levitate if the ball (or the batsman) passes close enough by the stumps. Not sure how many dismissals would stand, but I’m pretty sure it would be entertaining.

  2. I have to confess, I’ve never seen the lad play. Is he really as good as everyone says?

    The way people are talking him up it sounds like he’s the second coming (of KP perhaps).

    1. My opinion is that the lad looks pretty damned useful (in a cricketing context, at least; no idea of other uses e.g. handyman skills, gaffer tape substitute). I move that this be the official stance around here until proven wrong, one way or another.

      1. Okey dokey, good enough for me.

        Is he properly quick, or just another right arm fast medium bowling alrounder? Just watched some vids on YT and his gather and delivery stride don’t look too exciting (believe it or not, it’s what does it for me).

      2. Not sure I’d trust him as a handyman at the moment. He’d drop his tools all over the workshop.

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