Not long now for the County Championship

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Knocked off its ruddy axis

The County Championship will end this week, just so long as the world hasn’t ended before then. The excitement is ripping our reality apart at the seams.

When we got up this morning, we weren’t at all surprised to find that our jumper had fallen off the back of a chair and onto the floor. Combine increasing numbers of invaders from the spirit world with Simon Kerrigan taking 9-51 for Lancashire, winning the match against Hampshire with just four minutes to go, and it was inevitable that the world would be knocked off its axis.

This time the world was knocked off its axis such that a jumper fell off the back of a chair. How bad will it be next time?


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  1. What irritates me is that right at the end of the season, the media (other than the Internet) starts covering it, as if they have been doing so all season.

    It’s a sad reflection on the LVCC’s real interest level to the nation other than hard core cricket fans.

    PS If the jumper is black, can we take it that like the England Rugby Union team, this sweater is an example of the England Cricket team’s new ALL BLACK strip?

    1. It is just a plain black jumper.

      The England rugby team is the only thing keeping the world on its axis, judging by yesterday’s performance.

  2. Just a thought here KC, Moores is quoted on cricinfo today calling Kerrigan international class. What does that make Keedy? The best spinner never to play for England?

    Can you as a Lancashire man enlighten me?

    1. It is an odd assessment, isn’t it?

      The reason Keedy’s first choice is that Kerrigan’s a little bit of an unknown quantity. It’ll be different next year – Keedy seems set to sign for Warwickshire.

  3. Daisy and I have just returned from Lord’s and can confirm that we all need a little bit more of the sort of exciting conclusion we have just seen.

    In other words…

    …more ties.

  4. Ged – did it take you the entire journey home to think of that one?
    And when you got home did you come on King Cricket before doing anything else?


      We spent most of the journey home in ignorance of the result, actually, sam.

      Once we had the result confirmed, we spent the rest of the journey home discussing the relative justice of said result.

      The first thing I did when I got home was to remove my rain-dampened garments. During that process, inspiration struck.

      The next thing I did, naturally, was to go straight to King Cricket and upload my thoughts.

      I hope the mental image is not too much for you sam. But you did ask.

  5. In todays other news, I have just heard someone knocking on the door of one of the other flats in this house, clearly desperate to get in and unable to convince the occupant to take mercy on her.

    I should imagine that there will be many more incidents of this kind this week, as those with Sky Sports subscriptions are bombarded with requests from friends and associates for a seat on the sofa and a peak at the County Championship broadcast.

    As I type, the knocking and calling out of the occupants name is getting loader.

    It’s going to be a long four days.

  6. And they’re off, and it’s Lancashire who are first out of the traps this morning – Somerset literally wilting under the onslaught of Chapple and Smith. Meanwhile Warwickshire are literally being torn assunder by James Tomlinson, who has a wicket. Outsiders Durham are intent on maintaining that status, having been literally ground up into small pieces and fed to the lions with the loss of that wicket.

    Current prediction – Lancashire 24 points, Warwickshire 2 points, Durham 1 point, Paul Allot moved to the Weston-super-Mare area.

    1. Wickets are tumbling at Taunton – that’s three now. And Lancs haven’t yet unleashed the Kerriganator (except for three unsuccessful overs for 12).

  7. Warks have racked up 18 extras in 23 overs. They are literally kicking the ball repeatedly to the boundary. If they bat for 100 overs, at this rate they’ll have about 75 extras. That’s a lot of extras.

  8. Allott-cam has a brief clip of him discussing having “a pint or two of the LOCAL cider this evening”, so I think we can be sure that he’ll be staying in the Somerset area overnight. Looking at the lunchtime scores, this seems a fair decision. Mathematically speaking the championship outcome isn’t a done deal just yet, but I think he’ll be checking in for a few nights at least.

  9. By the way, KC. As a top-ace journalist, will you be going to the main party in the centre of Manchester for the celebrations, or just one of the local street parties?

    1. Not sure. Bit worried that the city centre celebrations could get out of hand. We can just see hordes of youths in Luke Proctor shirts getting totally carried away, not knowing their limits. There could be a few fights.

      Or do you think the overwhelming sense of mass bonhomie will keep everyone the right side of the line?

  10. Birmingham has some top nightclubs, but I would imagine they will be all-ticket this weekend. It’s going to be mental.

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