King Cricket

August 9, 2013 Australia

Jackson Bird is not a 1970s American rock band

< 1 minute readWe’re telling ourself this as much as anyone else. It’s the first thing we think whenever we see his name. Maybe stating the thought in a post title will finally purge it, allowing us to concentrate on other things. We’re guessing that Jackson Bird is going to play the fourth

August 7, 2013 Regulars

Monty’s unacceptable urination

< 1 minute readYou may remember our cat, Monty. Here he is being conspicuously indifferent to cricket a few years back. He’s actually sitting on the cricket pages, the heathen. What you might not know about Monty is that he likes to piss on things. On one memorable occasion, he walked into the

August 7, 2013 Australia

David Warner’s inner chimp

2 minute readBritish Cycling’s psychiatrist, Steve Peters, wrote a book called The Chimp Paradox. The basic premise is that the emotional, impulsive parts of your brain can almost be considered a separate being – the inner chimp. We respond to things emotionally, but it’s often better to suppress these reactions and first

August 5, 2013 Australia / England

Tinkering with spaghetti

2 minute readSo where does this leave us? Ashes retention is technically ticked off, but the series is not yet decided. Australia have returned to Test cricket and England have been a little bit disappointing in how they’ve responded to that. England’s bowling, Australia’s batting Young Australian batsmen like Chris Rogers and

August 4, 2013 England

Kevin Pietersen’s shambolic knee inhibits his prancing

< 1 minute readIf we had to use a word to describe Kevin Pietersen in the field, we’d use ‘prancing’. However, he hasn’t been prancing in this match. He’s been cumbersome. We also saw a photo of him running during one of the warm-ups and he was panting with neck flab caught mid

August 2, 2013 Australia / England

Ethereal watercolours and skittering Mekons

< 1 minute readThere was a bit more fast-medium today, or maybe we finally dropped to medium-fast. Either way, it was all a bit ethereal. There’s a point in every massive innings where everyone in the field’s just resigned themselves to things. It’s usually about 430. After that, you get a watercolour painting

August 1, 2013 Australia

Third Test Australia team selection dissection

< 1 minute readThe first morning of an Ashes Test has become a time when we all look forward to finding out who the hell Australia have picked and what sequence they’ve been arbitrarily put into. David Warner replaces Phil Hughes Nathan Lyon replaces Ashton Agar Mitchell Starc replaces James Pattinson It’s probably

July 31, 2013 England

The new Old Trafford

< 1 minute readDon’t know if you’ve heard, but they’ve tarted the place up. There’s lots of shiny surfaces now. The Point has been joined by a couple of other Point-like buildings, so it’s a bit like there’s a whole family of fan heaters trained on the pitch. We quite like the effect.

July 29, 2013 Match report

Old Filchonians over-40s midweek Twenty20 evening match report

< 1 minute readBert writes: 3.4 The bowler is up to the wicket now and he bowls and that is clipped away nicely through midwicket for at least two, the fielder is chasing hard and HE’S OUT! The fielder is OUT! Bert is down in a crumpled heap on the floor clutching his

July 28, 2013 England

England drop a giant and select AN EVEN MORE TERRIFYING GIANT

< 1 minute readWe’ve already done ‘Chris Tremlett’s back‘ once before. We’d hate to repeat ourself. England have dropped the grossly-overtall Steven Finn and have replaced him with a man of similar height but who also has arms the size of thighs hanging off the sides of some sort of oil-tanker-cum-torso. Then there’s