An Australia v England series starts this week. The old rivalry. Always an edge to it, bragging rights, a chance to make some sort of statement, yadda, yadda, yadda…
The 1986 John Hughes film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off features one of the all-time great film quotes. This is of course headteacher Ed Rooney’s, “I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.”
A greatly inferior but far more commonly heard quote from that film is the title character’s: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
Ferris was, presumably, talking about international cricket.
Things aren’t as bad as last year when the T20 World Cup finished with another T20 World Cup already less than a year away, encouraging us to report on the final like this. At least this time around we’re only a year away from a different flavour of World Cup (the 50-over one) and at least it has been four years since the previous one in that format.
So it is that England have had to swiftly segue from celebrations to preparations this week with a three-match one-day international series against Australia about to get underway.
Pretty much the only thing we enjoy about fixture bloat is that many of the players don’t even try and say the right thing any more. In fact speaking to the BBC this week, Moeen Ali seems to have gone out of his way to express his displeasure with this situation.
“Having a game in three days’ time – it’s horrible,” he said – which is just a wonderfully blunt and correct statement.
Moeen then conceded, “We have to do it, and while we’re here we might as well do it. It would be better than going back and then having to come back out another time.”
Put that on a poster!
Even England’s coach has been unable to feign enthusiasm.
“We always saw that series as being something that we will have to be really professional about,” said Matthew Mott.
Strap in for three matches of being professional and getting it over with, everybody!
Needless to say, this series isn’t on the King Cricket 2022 Calendar.
There’s nothing meaningful happening this week. You’re not missing anything. Why not go and read some of our old features.