Steve Smith’s brain fades still further, Bangladesh do the reverse

Bangladesh have won nine Tests and we make this their second win.

The convention is to remove matches in which Bangladesh feature from all Test statistics. This seems unduly harsh at the best of times, but it seems even more so when it’s them who you’re measuring.

Nevertheless, in the spirit of omission, we’ve stripped away all of their Test victories that might be disregarded for one reason or another and we’ve been left with their win over England last October and this one against Sri Lanka. Truly, it is Bangladesh’s Golden Era.

For the record, the Tigers’ other seven wins comprise five against Zimbabwe and two against one of those stand-in West Indies teams, which on this occasion featured luminaries such as Omar Phillips and David Bernard.

Meanwhile, over in Ranchi…

Steve Smith has suffered another horrendous brain fade, leading to grave concerns about his long-term mental health. Smith calmly held his bat out of the way of a ball pitching outside leg, only for it to hit his off stump.

If this brain fadery continues at its current rate, it will be but weeks before he’s entirely forgotten how to execute his magnificent double-elbowed chicken dance bowling action. As this is the only aspect of Steve Smith’s cricket in which we take any pleasure, we’d be keen for him to seek psychiatric treatment post-haste.

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11 Appeals

  1. Ben Butler-Cole

    March 20, 2017 at 11:20 am

    That Shakib al Hasan chap looks promising, KC. One to watch maybe?

  2. I clicked on one of the related links, then another one, and found myself complaining that I hadn’t yet received a King Cricket T-shirt.

    That was back in 2009.

    Is it still lost in the post?

    • King Cricket

      March 20, 2017 at 1:54 pm

      No reason why orders should go astray? Have you got the tracking info? Email us.

      • False alarm. Turns out it did arrive and I forgot I ever owned it. Sleep deprivation induced amnesia. Can somebody please send me a vat of Nightnurse? In exchange I can offer you two screaming children. They are a delight.

      • King Cricket

        March 20, 2017 at 6:46 pm

        Eight years old and still going strong. What a recommendation!

        Buy a custom-made King Cricket T-shirt, people. They’re excellent quality.

        (They genuinely are. We bought one before we started selling them to see whether they were shit or not. They aren’t, and we have worn ours for winter sleeping ever since. Still good as new. No kidding.)

      • King Cricket

        March 20, 2017 at 6:48 pm

        We got a mug at the same time and have used it probably one day in three since then (reusing it throughout the day). That too is in great nick. Maybe needs a bit of a bleach inside, but, you know, that’s regular-use mugs for you.

      • The T-shirt in question was actually this one:

        http://www.kingcricket.co.uk/cricket-t-shirt-competition/2009/07/27/

        I had it for a bit. Don’t know what happened to it.

      • Is it just me or have those prices gone up considerably (admittedly I probably haven’t checked the price since 2009)? £50 for a hoodie is a pretty sizable outlay (although I’m sure it’s good quality material/etc).

      • King Cricket

        March 21, 2017 at 9:01 am

        We haven’t changed anything, but the price of the hoodie does seem a lot. Base prices must have gone up.

        We’ll go an knock some money off everything. Maybe bring this to people’s attention again when the changes have come into effect.

      • King Cricket

        March 21, 2017 at 9:12 am

        Well, the price of the hoodie and some of the more expensive items will drop, but it’s basically impossible to make the mugs a reasonable price. Suppose they are custom made.

      • King Cricket

        March 21, 2017 at 9:12 am

        High quality products though. Did we mention that?

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