This is how to watch Test cricket

Posted by
< 1 minute read

Only once you’ve had an experience like this can you be considered a true Test match viewing veteran.

What follows is a true story.

“I think it’s brightening up.”


“Yeah, it is. It’s definitely getting brighter. Look over there, the sun’s trying to break through.”

[Time passes]

“I think it’s got worse again.”


“Let’s give it another hour though, I think it’s supposed to ease off.”

[More time passes]

“Well, they’ve done a pitch inspection. That’s promising. Apparently they’re due to make an announcement about when play’s due to restart.”



For more of this kind of thing, see here.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


    1. Agreed. It’s hard to be annoyed about drizzle delaying the cricket when it means not having to sleep in a cocoon of my own sweat tonight.

      1. It’s both relatively cool and completely dry here – so there’s a way you can get annoyed about the drizzle delaying the cricket.

      2. You’ve seen our yellowing sward. [Considers rewording that, decides he can’t be bothered.]

  1. Great Cricinfo piece. Just checked to see what’s going on at Lord’s and was met with ‘Early lunch taken’. Snigger.

    1. Escamillo Escapillo notes that at Old Trafford today there is sunshine.

      The sun always shines in Lanky….

      At Lords however, bring your wellies, sowester and rubber dinghy.

      1. Don’t listen to him.

        It’s brightening up behind the Warner Stand and that’s where the weather is coming from.

      2. I am going to Old Trafford tomorrow so I predict hailstorms, gales and possibly frogs falling from the sky in Manchester.

      3. Got utterly drenched travelling the two miles home from The Home.

        Naturally, ’tis now a beautiful sunny evening in London.

      4. Tommorrow’s forecast for St John’s Wood looks good until about 3pm then great for Saturday for my ticket.

  2. I fondly remember watching an Aus v WI one dayer at the SCG where after 2 overs of the 2nd innings it started belting down, before being downgraded to mizzle and then stopping completely. The debate among my friends was fierce as to whether we should wait it out to see if play resumed or just go home. In the end we did decide to just go home, and turned on the telly to see them resuming play, which left me feeling a bit down that we’d bailed..for exactly one ball, before it pissed down again and they abandoned the match.

  3. I’m quite disappointed with the Stokes trial. From what I can gather (from following it on the Sky news website) none of the barristers have done that thing where they demonstrate someone’s eyesight is poor, like in My Cousin Vinnie. I thought that happened in all court cases.

    I guess all I can hope for now is that the defendant’s car didn’t have pozi-traction.

    1. It’s perfect “why did I pay to come and see this?” rainy day cricket if you’re supporting India. When they’re off the field is the only time they’ve not been going backwards.

      1. Disappointed that young Pope did not perform the Jonty Rhodes for the run-out, to truly immortalise himself on dayboo…

    1. Asked whether he was “looking down your nose” at Mr Cunningham, Stokes replied he “might just be looking at the night sky”. And when asked to whom he might be speaking, Stokes replied “God”. – I’m only hoping for rain!

  4. He denied offering the club doorman £300 for re-entry into Mbargo, claiming he offered £60. “I wouldn’t offer £300 to get back into even the best club in London,” he replied.

    Stokes also denied saying the doorman’s tattoos were “shit”, claiming he had in fact said: “Come on mate, I’ve got shit tattoos as well, let us in.”

    Corsellis challenged him. “But you don’t have shit tattoos. You have spent a lot of money and time and care on your tattoos, and they are not shit,” the prosecutor said.

    Stokes replied that he liked the tattoos on his arms, but he did not like the tattoo on his back. “It’s not done very well and it’s a bit faded,” he said. He was constantly getting comments about his tattoos, he added, “especially on the boundary line”.

    Oh boy !

  5. Viewing further footage showing Stokes looking upward, Corsellis asked the cricketer what he was looking at. “I might just be looking at the night sky,” replied Stokes.

    Who was he speaking to when looking at the night sky, Corsellis asked. “God?” Stokes replied.

    Who’s the dialogue writer?

  6. I’m confused – how are all these Things Happening at Lord’s given that Ben Stokes has been busy Making Testimony Happen at Bristol Crown Court? Is it somehow possible that other cricketers are capable of causing events to occur?

  7. A breezy, showery day in prospect at Lord’s so your cunningly disguised title is very apt, yer maj.

    “Weathercocks twitch, so hit tits.”

    Just hope the little blue birds can dodge Father Time.

  8. F*** the weather forecast. I got to The Home ludicrously early this morning to secure a parking space near the ground and perfectly sheltered yet excellent seats in the Warner.

    Not that it is actually going to rain if course – except for the odd shower perhaps …

    ….unless the wind changes direction again…

Comments are closed.