Tom Curran’s haircut

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Tom Curran (via ECB)

Tom Curran’s been called into England’s Ashes squad. If you’re wondering why we’ve never really written much about him here at King Cricket, it’s because we don’t like his hair.

This isn’t a proper mainstream media news site. We can do what we like. If we think Tom Curran’s haircut is visual shorthand for evil then we’re probably not going to go out of our way to write things about him.

Here’s a slightly blurry shot of his hair in action. Come on. You must know what we mean.

If we had to sum it up in a word, we’d be forced to invent one. The word would be ‘eurocriminal’.

Curran has been called up because Steven Finn knackered his own knee by accidentally hitting it with a cricket bat.

Now there’s a cricketer you can get behind.


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  1. Shades of Alan Mullally. Might be a better bowler, might be an even worse batsman. One can only hope it’s both…

  2. He looks like one of those SS officers who were quietly shipped off to Argentina after the war. I am 93% sure he raises chicken on a farm so no one finds out about his past.

    We are on to you, Tom Curran. Or should we call you Friedrich Kühn?

  3. Also worth adding that Finn has truly magnificent hair. Even with recent non-selection, he has to be near the top of the LG ICC hair rankings.

    Would it be unfair to suggest that if you had no knowledge of Tom Curran but were given a photo of his haircut, you would still be able to accurately guess what county he played for?

  4. One of the reasons I like this website so much is that it is one of the few on-line places I can go where Godwin’s Law seems not to apply.

    Yet this thread seems über-Godwinesque to me.

    Seriously sinister hair, though. That barnet alone ought to be worth a couple of wickets per innings against those Aussie kittens.

      1. Well he does have a brother.

        So does Craig Overton, of course, but those two seem greatly less Brossish.

      2. Indeed, I have boycotted Fanta for as long as I can remember.

        Admittedly, my boycott has been based on the fact that the product tastes cheap and awful, rather than the laudable argument I can now use if anyone is foolish enough to offer me a bottle of that disgusting liquid.

        Thank you for educating me on the matter, Edwardian.

      3. A year. Maybe a little longer if there was a late delivery – which there almost certainly wasn’t as everyone was, and remains, utterly sick of Fanta.

      4. Thought maybe you got it in one bulk delivery and could ration it out as you desired. That would be a lifetime’s supply for me as I hate the stuff. Always wondered how those things worked.

  5. He doesn’t strike me as the bowl-all-day, uphill, into-the-wind type, like, say, a Neil Wagner. 21-8-35-0 for Otago today. Effort. Wagneresque.

  6. Think you ought to check out the hairdo of Luke Wood of Notts too, O King. If T Curran is portent of Things to Come test-wise, Luke is a shoe-in for next summer

    1. Think we need a second example to confirm that ‘haircut’ is now a major box on the selectorial checklist.

  7. In more positive news, Paul Collingwood is currently fielding! One step closer to the dream.

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