England heroes for the 2011 Cricket World Cup

If you’re English, your heroes shouldn’t be talented or eye-catching. Being English is about celebrating the people who really don’t seem like they should be doing something, but are doing it anyway and are doing it well.

Here are the official King Cricket heroes for the 2011 World Cup. These are the guys we’ll be rooting for.

Tim Bresnan

Bit trendy after doing a hell of a lot to help England win the Ashes, but only trendy in the way that the theme tune to the Bill was trendy after they jazzed it up a bit.

Tim Bresnan is from Yorkshire and he has quite a round head. Those are qualities we can all appreciate.

James Tredwell

Yes, he is in the squad. You’d probably forgotten. You know of James Tredwell, but you don’t really know much about him.

James Tredwell looks older than he is and bats ‘a bit’. His spin bowling is not in any way eye-catching and he is so low profile that we have just had to create a category for him having never properly written about him before. An ideal World Cup hero.

Luke Wright

As we’ve said before, we don’t actually know whether Luke Wright is a batsman, a bowler or simply a blank canvas who doesn’t get injured. When he does play, he tries very, very hard.

Mike Yardy

Quite possibly the best of the bunch. As a batsman, he will never be a joy to watch. As for bowling, he has an approach that betrays a deep-seated loathing of any form of entertainment.

Mike Yardy is basically there to ruin cricket matches. If England win the final because he’s bowled 60 deliveries straight into the batsman’s legs without really spinning it at all, he will be the English hero to end all English heroes.

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5 Appeals

  1. Broad and Shahzad mince the Canadian batting lineup to take 5-41 off 10 overs.

    Wright, Yardy and Tredwell come on in what might be considered a favourable position.

    And after seven overs from them Canada are 94/5. Wright and Tredwell managed double figures in their opening overs at the hands of Rizwan Cheema.

    England can feasibly play an XI without any of them, but the squad in an absolute mess.

  2. Permission to whinge? Well, I’m going to anyway!

    This is addressed to Howe_zat as his comment has caught me at a less than equable moment post a mini Twitter rant, but my ire stems from reading others’ tweets, so please don’t think I’m peeved at him/you xxx

    Yes, Tredwell was smacked in his first over, fair comment. Regrettable but he’s not the first & won’t be the last, plus Cheema appears to have had a blinder – JRod was talking the Canadian up only yesterday on a Test Match Sofa podcast as one to watch. My gripe is that Tredwell clearly bowled more economically after that (2nd best economy of the 6 bowlers used, bettered only just by Yardy) and took the wicket of the batsman with the 2nd best strike rate. Not outstanding, I grant you, but your post infers he was entirely shite, whereas he actually “did ok”. That said, I do appreciate that “ok” in the context of this match isn’t going to win a WC anytime soon!

    Incidentally, before I’m accused of rose tinted Kent bias, I’d have picked Rashid for the XV.

  3. 3 out of 4 ain’t bad O King

  4. Sarah – I did try and post what was basically an essay but my connection killed it. Perhaps to save us all from reading it. I’ll give you the brief version:

    – I posted that when Canada were 94/5 and felt like having a bit of a rant myself.

    – I don’t think Tredwell is shit, I think he’s a good cricketer but don’t think he should be playing for England just because he’s an offspinner. I think we have better options.

    – Wright should definately not be playing. There’s no point to his selection any more. He’s playing as a bowler who can’t be trusted to bowl. ODIs are a step too far for Yardy.

    – My main beef is with Strauss, who I have defended as a Test captain but can’t seem to handle his bowlers properly in ODIs. Today he forgot to bring Shahzad back at the death when we needed two wickets, even when it was too late for him to complete his 10.

    – No-one seems to know the plan any more, in complete contrast to how they won the World T20. If there is a plan, I can’t fathom it. I understand injuries will not help but surely we can do better than this.

    Hope that clears a few things up.

  5. Howe_zat – It does & I wouldn’t argue with any of that, except maybe in respect of Yardy. He’s not a world class cricketer but he is dependable & has acquitted himself well enough. How depressing, though, if he’s the best available to England in that all rounder slot.

    I agree with your criticism of Strauss, plus he’s too cautious for me in ODIs.

    Clutching at straws here but weren’t England pants before and during the first matches of the T20 WC?!

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