Not as in ‘returned’ because he hasn’t been away. We’re more worried that he might have ankylosing spondylitis.
If Alastair Cook doesn’t get the runs, Joe Root will, and if Joe Root doesn’t get them, then England fans better hope that the team can cobble together a good number of 20s and 30s from all of their all-rounders, wicketkeepers and other batsmen, because you can’t really see anyone else making a big score.
The team’s batting seems about as well-balanced as a pissed-up baby giraffe trying to moonwalk across a tightrope these days. Cook and Root are the run-scorers and England can’t afford to lose either one.
Mike Atherton, who knows a thing or two about the subject, says Root’s back-knack is brought on by squatting down more when facing the spinners. If you’re going to make runs in the UAE – and Root seems keen to do so – there’ll be plenty of that.
More pilates, Joe! We need you.