Posted by 
Paul Collingwood, a man of incomparable aceness right now – in fact a man so ace he’s forcing full-grown men to write like 11-year-olds – hit England’s fastest ever fifty at some point in the recent past.
Hitting England’s fastest ever fifty is a bit like being Australia’s most debonair slaughterhouse worker, but being as Collingwood only took 24 balls to reach the mark, maybe we should all keep our eyes peeled for bon-viveur moustache-twirlers amidst the gore of Bendigo abattoirs.
To Paul Collingwood! [Raises empty glass and realises it’s time to stop writing about things from the past that are to be published in the future in favour of more pressing matters.]
New Zealand v England, fourth one-day international at Napier
England 340-6 (Phil Mustard 83, Alastair Cook 69, Paul Collingwood 54, Kevin Pietersen 50)
New Zealand 340-7 (Jamie How 139, Brendon McCullum 58)
Match tied.
He’s sneaky that McCullum.,.
He even managed to look shit behind the stumps, in the last ODI.
I think he’s rubbish. A toss pants snot face.
Who Brendan McCullum?
Or Paul Collingwood?
Did he call you fat? Did he accuse your brother of being a nonce?
Janet, are you taking too many slimming pills again, you crazy thing!
Thanks. Beautiful site. I’ll become your constant reader.