Dear Father Christmas,
Thanks for all the presents you brought us. You really outdid yourself. We know we’ve been good this year, but some of the things you got us were just plain ridiculous.
Thanks for the house. We’re not sure we need quite that many bedrooms and we really weren’t expecting a pool. On balance you were probably too generous.
Thanks for getting us Jessica Alba and Beyoncé as well. One of them would have been enough and they didn’t BOTH need to be naked, although it was much appreciated.
Now, the cricket. Australia 98 all out and England 157-0? Well, let’s be honest, we’re not going to throw that back in your face, are we? This was more outrageous than the other presents put together, but we can’t say we aren’t glad.
What do you do for an encore?
All our love,