Australian bowlers under threat

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The grass in NOT always greener - sometimes there's dog piss on it

The Test before last, Australia fielded a bowling attack of Hilfenhaus, Johnson, Hauritz and George. In this Test, they have Harris, Bollinger, Siddle and Doherty, who have barely taken a wicket between them. What happens now? Go back to the first lot?

The players can’t enjoy this selection drama. They’re not coming into a team because they’ve done well, they’re coming back into a team because the player who replaced them is worse than they were when they were dropped.

It’s a sort of ‘undermine and recall’ policy. The selectors basically say: “We’ve still got no faith in you, but our standards have dropped to such an extent that you’ve come back into contention.”

It’s like returning to a multi-storey car park and being unable to find your car. You check the same spots again and again, hoping that you somehow missed it, but to no avail. Sooner or later you’re going to have to accept that someone’s twocked your car and you’re going to have to get the bus home.

52 comments

  1. It’s the role-reversal thing that is best. Fifty-eight players used in a series, days without a wicket, batting collapses, selectors acting like the Chuckle Brothers without the organisation skills, and Australia hoping for rain as their best method of getting a draw.

    In fact, I’m beginning to get suspicious. Can you get a spot bet on an entire country turning into England?

  2. To get really England c1990 they would need to change captain with such regularity that security wouldn’t even recognise the captain when he turned up.

    That’s special.

    BTW, Daisy and I have tried a different sleep technique tonight.

    Leonard Cohen at 19:45. Daisy was asleep well before 20:00.

    We’re hoping that a couple of hours sleep before dinner might just enable Daisy to keep awake for the start of the morning session at least. Especially with the 23:30 start today, weather permitting.

  3. I live in Surrey goddamit! As God is my witness (actually as Ged is my witness) I shall create at best a second rate team to play against them. Perhaps called tuberculosis.

    I will bat no. 11, field at slip and bowl ninth change

  4. I’m using the same strategy as last night. (Duvet, leccy blanket, bananas).

    I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.

    No, really I don’t. Officially.

  5. My tactics will be mostly sleeping through it and dreaming of sun, runs then wickets, all delivered by baby badgers.

  6. Day off tomorrow for me. Woo! Hope we can finish it today,

    Think I’d have preferred a declaration really. Nice to watch the mighty Bell though I suppose.

    Cheap lager, coffee, hobnobs. These are my secret weapons.

  7. Well I do have to work tomorrow, but as I’ve just got in from the pub quiz (finished 3rd), I’ve decided to watch a bit of the cricket.

    No idea why we are still batting, except all those various theories on use of the roller and ten minutes preparation for Katich and Watson.

  8. I have to go to work tomorrow and they oddly have requested my attendance at early morning meetings so I can’t make it a late one. Some people have no patriotism…

    Luckily I have apple vodka, a cat and a Summer weight duvet. As the kids would say – Bring it

  9. This is pointless. The batting is too easy. I realise that’s a fairly ridiculous complaint for an England supporter, but we really ought to get bowling.

  10. Among the questions we got wrong were:

    What do the armed services call non-uniform clothes (not civvies)?

    Who sang the orignal version of Eloise?

    What colour snow fell in Siberia in 2007?
    (We put white, as this was almost certainly true in some parts of Siberia. The quiz master was not impressed by our logic.)

    What word is an anagram of NO TRACES?

    If you can get these right, please turn up at the Stamford Arms in Bowdon next Sunday and help us. We only lost by three points.

  11. Correct and correct. Two points there. Only one more point and we would have been in a tie-break for the main prize (£20 meal voucher).

  12. Worth saying – this thread is currently more up to date than Cricinfo’s live commentary, which as I type has missed Pietersen’s wicket.

  13. Siddle now on a gallon. Apparently that harks back to the days when petrol was 100p per gallon.

    I didn’t know that – I had to look it up on t’internet – I would be no good in a pub quiz

  14. We have no intention of trying to win this game – we just want to make them feel as bad as they make us feel.

    It’s the advancement of attritional cricket into cruel cricket

  15. Lordy – I take my eye off the TTNT for half an hour…
    Well done Bert on the third place
    Was the answer to the Elouise question The Damned?
    Andy Zaltzman is on Test Match Sofa

  16. Thanks, Jo. It wasn’t the Damned i’m afraid. That’s the only answer we knew, but there was an earlier version.

  17. Prescient:

    Tight but Loose // Dec 5, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    Great to see how much turn there is on the wicket as well. Let’s get to 620 and put them back in

  18. Some people in the quiz got Barry Ryan right. Seems a bit bizarre to me. So there’s only the snow colour one left, which hasn’t been solved despite Tight’s naming of a whole series of colours.

  19. Katich might not make the next test with his injury, so Australia might need a new opening bat. Have they got a medium pace number six to slot in?

  20. Well goodnight sturdy stalwarts. I don’t have your stamina, I’m afraid, and bedtime calls. Enjoy the night.

  21. “The time has come,” the Walrus said,
    “To talk of many things:
    Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
    Of cabbages–and kings–
    And why the sea is boiling hot–
    And whether pigs have wings.”

    It’s also time for me to bid you farewell. I know what the score is going to be after all so I feel no need to watch it.

    JF – Keep those potassium levels up
    Dawg – get those hobnobs in you

  22. We need wickets. Time for a curse.

    BY THE ACHILLES OF KATICH, BEGONE, BATSMEN!!

    There, that shoud be worth at least a couple soon after lunch.

  23. Is yellow acceptable instead of orange? I’d have said yellow. Also, dropping Hilfenmillhaus was stupid. Also, they need Brett Dorey.

    DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEYYYYY
    DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEEEEEYYY

  24. Beautiful versifying there Tight.
    I fell asleep again.
    But only missed Australia racing to 200 – and Ponting only getting 9.

  25. And Pietersen gets Clark with the last ball of the day.
    4 down. Game on.

    Damn
    Another night of nailbiting
    I’ve got to go to work tomorrow.

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