Australian bowlers under threat

The grass in NOT always greener - sometimes there's dog piss on it

The Test before last, Australia fielded a bowling attack of Hilfenhaus, Johnson, Hauritz and George. In this Test, they have Harris, Bollinger, Siddle and Doherty, who have barely taken a wicket between them. What happens now? Go back to the first lot?

The players can’t enjoy this selection drama. They’re not coming into a team because they’ve done well, they’re coming back into a team because the player who replaced them is worse than they were when they were dropped.

It’s a sort of ‘undermine and recall’ policy. The selectors basically say: “We’ve still got no faith in you, but our standards have dropped to such an extent that you’ve come back into contention.”

It’s like returning to a multi-storey car park and being unable to find your car. You check the same spots again and again, hoping that you somehow missed it, but to no avail. Sooner or later you’re going to have to accept that someone’s twocked your car and you’re going to have to get the bus home.

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52 Appeals

  1. It’s not quite as silly as England’s 1989 chopping and changing, but it’s still fairly silly.

  2. It’s the role-reversal thing that is best. Fifty-eight players used in a series, days without a wicket, batting collapses, selectors acting like the Chuckle Brothers without the organisation skills, and Australia hoping for rain as their best method of getting a draw.

    In fact, I’m beginning to get suspicious. Can you get a spot bet on an entire country turning into England?

  3. To get really England c1990 they would need to change captain with such regularity that security wouldn’t even recognise the captain when he turned up.

    That’s special.

    BTW, Daisy and I have tried a different sleep technique tonight.

    Leonard Cohen at 19:45. Daisy was asleep well before 20:00.

    We’re hoping that a couple of hours sleep before dinner might just enable Daisy to keep awake for the start of the morning session at least. Especially with the 23:30 start today, weather permitting.

  4. I’ve found a Badgers Cricket Club!
    With real badgers!
    http://www.badgerscc.org.uk/

  5. I live in Surrey goddamit! As God is my witness (actually as Ged is my witness) I shall create at best a second rate team to play against them. Perhaps called tuberculosis.

    I will bat no. 11, field at slip and bowl ninth change

  6. I’m using the same strategy as last night. (Duvet, leccy blanket, bananas).

    I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.

    No, really I don’t. Officially.

  7. My tactics will be mostly sleeping through it and dreaming of sun, runs then wickets, all delivered by baby badgers.

  8. Day off tomorrow for me. Woo! Hope we can finish it today,

    Think I’d have preferred a declaration really. Nice to watch the mighty Bell though I suppose.

    Cheap lager, coffee, hobnobs. These are my secret weapons.

  9. Well I do have to work tomorrow, but as I’ve just got in from the pub quiz (finished 3rd), I’ve decided to watch a bit of the cricket.

    No idea why we are still batting, except all those various theories on use of the roller and ten minutes preparation for Katich and Watson.

  10. I have to go to work tomorrow and they oddly have requested my attendance at early morning meetings so I can’t make it a late one. Some people have no patriotism…

    Luckily I have apple vodka, a cat and a Summer weight duvet. As the kids would say – Bring it

  11. This is pointless. The batting is too easy. I realise that’s a fairly ridiculous complaint for an England supporter, but we really ought to get bowling.

  12. Among the questions we got wrong were:

    What do the armed services call non-uniform clothes (not civvies)?

    Who sang the orignal version of Eloise?

    What colour snow fell in Siberia in 2007?
    (We put white, as this was almost certainly true in some parts of Siberia. The quiz master was not impressed by our logic.)

    What word is an anagram of NO TRACES?

    If you can get these right, please turn up at the Stamford Arms in Bowdon next Sunday and help us. We only lost by three points.

  13. Ancestor. The others, no idea. Also, no idea where Bowdon is.

  14. The first one might be mufti – or I might still be a 12 yr old schoolchild.

    The anagram is ANCESTORS

    And KP has gone

  15. Weakness against left arm spin is probably ok after you have 200.

  16. Good point Dawg – Ancestor. Only one S

  17. Great to see how much turn there is on the wicket as well. Let’s get to 620 and put them back in

  18. I thought you might have just been creative with the question mark.

  19. Correct and correct. Two points there. Only one more point and we would have been in a tie-break for the main prize (£20 meal voucher).

  20. oh just declare. they’ll start believing they can bowl if they take wickets.

  21. on the other hand, that was quite funny…

  22. What do they have in Siberia? Oil? Copper? Iron? So black, green or red.

    White is plainly the right answer though. It’s snow dammit!

  23. Worth saying – this thread is currently more up to date than Cricinfo’s live commentary, which as I type has missed Pietersen’s wicket.

  24. Siddle now on a gallon. Apparently that harks back to the days when petrol was 100p per gallon.

    I didn’t know that – I had to look it up on t’internet – I would be no good in a pub quiz

  25. It’s green on the Risk board. I’d go with green.

  26. Also, I now understand why we are batting on. That missed catch is worth it.

  27. We have no intention of trying to win this game – we just want to make them feel as bad as they make us feel.

    It’s the advancement of attritional cricket into cruel cricket

  28. Lordy – I take my eye off the TTNT for half an hour…
    Well done Bert on the third place
    Was the answer to the Elouise question The Damned?
    Andy Zaltzman is on Test Match Sofa

  29. Last five overs run rate 9.20

    I don’t really know what I’m watching any more

  30. Tight – You were feeling sorry for them last night…

  31. Thanks, Jo. It wasn’t the Damned i’m afraid. That’s the only answer we knew, but there was an earlier version.

  32. According to Wikipedia, it was Barry Ryan.
    No, me neither

  33. Prescient:

    Tight but Loose // Dec 5, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    Great to see how much turn there is on the wicket as well. Let’s get to 620 and put them back in

  34. I fear I may now be burned as a witch

    Or just because people really don’t like me

  35. Some people in the quiz got Barry Ryan right. Seems a bit bizarre to me. So there’s only the snow colour one left, which hasn’t been solved despite Tight’s naming of a whole series of colours.

  36. Bert – I can name a load more colours if that would help?

  37. Eloise – Barry Ryan.

    Siberian snow – orange.

    Daisy asleep again.

    Me awake.

  38. According to Wikipedia it was orange due to iron

  39. Orange is correct, but you’d all have been thrown out of the quiz for cheating.

  40. According to Wikipedia we won this game by an innings

  41. Can you actually win by an innings? It probably has to be an innings and x number of runs or just by no. of wickets.

  42. Katich might not make the next test with his injury, so Australia might need a new opening bat. Have they got a medium pace number six to slot in?

  43. Recall Mitchell?? He can wave the blade

  44. Well goodnight sturdy stalwarts. I don’t have your stamina, I’m afraid, and bedtime calls. Enjoy the night.

  45. Night, Bert.

  46. “The time has come,” the Walrus said,
    “To talk of many things:
    Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
    Of cabbages–and kings–
    And why the sea is boiling hot–
    And whether pigs have wings.”

    It’s also time for me to bid you farewell. I know what the score is going to be after all so I feel no need to watch it.

    JF – Keep those potassium levels up
    Dawg – get those hobnobs in you

  47. We need wickets. Time for a curse.

    BY THE ACHILLES OF KATICH, BEGONE, BATSMEN!!

    There, that shoud be worth at least a couple soon after lunch.

  48. Tight, given your advance knowledge, shall I bother watching this session or have a snooze?

  49. Is yellow acceptable instead of orange? I’d have said yellow. Also, dropping Hilfenmillhaus was stupid. Also, they need Brett Dorey.

    DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEYYYYY
    DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEEEEEYYY

  50. Beautiful versifying there Tight.
    I fell asleep again.
    But only missed Australia racing to 200 – and Ponting only getting 9.

  51. And Pietersen gets Clark with the last ball of the day.
    4 down. Game on.

    Damn
    Another night of nailbiting
    I’ve got to go to work tomorrow.

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