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Category: News

December 5, 2009 County cricket / England

Mark Davies’ England call-up demands some new exclamations

< 1 minute readOne to watch veteran, Mark Davies, has finally been called into the England squad. If he plays a Test, it is not acceptable to use mundane exclamations like ‘well bowled!’ The obvious substitutes are ‘hammer of Thor!‘ and ‘great Odin’s raven!‘ but if you tire of shouting those, here are

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December 4, 2009 India / Pakistan / West Indies

Three ways in which we’ve been right in the last 24 hours

< 1 minute readThis is quite unusual. We’re not usually right about stuff. Normally, you can ask us questions about things that have happened to us and we’ll get the answers wrong. “Did Dan tell you he was moving to Australia?” “No!” [Long pause] “Don’t think so.” [Another long pause] “Well, maybe…” Dwayne

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December 4, 2009 India

Virender Sehwag is a bastard and here’s why

< 1 minute readVirender Sehwag is a bastard because he plays too many good innings to keep track of and there aren’t enough superlatives to spread among them. Consider this: Sehwag’s last Test innings was 131. That was a failure. His first four Test hundreds were all under 150; all failures. After that,

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December 4, 2009 India

Virender Sehwag is what Test cricket is all about

< 1 minute readVirender Sehwag: 284 not out overnight. This was Test cricket. The Sri Lankan players couldn’t just soak it up for 20 overs before seeing if they could do better. This problem wasn’t going away. But what they had to endure almost all day, the crowd got to enjoy all day

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December 3, 2009 Bangladesh / England / West Indies

The five best all-rounders over the next five years

< 1 minute readNot sure we’ve got Imran Khan or Garry Sobers on the cards, but it’s not looking bad. Shakib Al Hasan, Bangladesh, age 22 As a cricket-writer, we’re worried there’ll be no words left in a few years time, because they’ll all have been eaten by Bangladesh criticisers. Shakib Al Hasan

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December 2, 2009 County cricket

Beware the fury of Sussex County Cricket Club

< 1 minute readThe BBC are reporting that Sussex are furious with Surrey because the latter approached one of their players. Sussex chairman, Jim May, was red-faced with fury, ranting: “The approach is unwelcome and the timing very unfortunate.” Peppering the interviewer with flecks of spit and bile, May’s rage later reached its

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November 30, 2009 South Africa

Mark Boucher at six? This isn’t South Africa

< 1 minute readWhen England took the fourth wicket of what seemed like a mesmerisingly unstrenuous dismantling of the South African batting line-up, we wondered where the real South Africa were. Mark Boucher at six? Where was the breathtaking conservatism for which South African cricket is so renowned? Think back to the glory

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November 29, 2009 Australia / India / New Zealand / Pakistan / Sri Lanka / West Indies

Innings victories in cricket – good or bad?

< 1 minute readIt’s good if it’s your side that’s won, but if you’re impartial, it means that a Test has been one-sided. Australia’s innings victory over West Indies also raises uncomfortable and unwelcome questions about the future of the West Indies as a Test team, even if their best player, Adrian Barath,

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November 28, 2009 West Indies

Adrian Barath hits a hundred against Australia on his debut

< 1 minute readWe didn’t see Adrian Barath’s hundred against an Australia bowling attack that we feel professionally obliged to describe as ‘rampant’. Was it any good? Brian Lara though Barath was some prospect when he saw him batting in the nets, aged 11. Being as Barath’s 19 now, he must have been

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November 26, 2009 Australia / England / India / New Zealand / South Africa

The five best batsmen over the next five years

< 1 minute readThe big names are generally old bastards. Who’s next? Ross Taylor, New Zealand, age 25 Ross Taylor tends to look like he’s the man who’s going to win the match for New Zealand shortly before doing something slightly spacky. Pretty soon those fifties will become hundreds and those hundreds will

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Latest comments

  1. pettsvaldo on Zimbabwe have blown Australia’s lid off againFebruary 13, 2026

    Did I do any of that?! Nevertheless, I'm happy to grab some reflected glory from the outstanding work of others…

  2. Balladeer on Zimbabwe have blown Australia’s lid off againFebruary 13, 2026

    Massively belated, but: I recognise that username! Appreciate your work on the Grauniad county cricket dictionary. Very useful.

  3. Balladeer on Zimbabwe have blown Australia’s lid off againFebruary 13, 2026

    "Zimbabwe have edged Australia..." Obvious crude jokes aside, AFF's piece in Cricinfo tells us that Zimbabwe "were so clearly, and…

  4. Buttface on Watch out! Rahmanullah Gurbaz has discovered a new angleFebruary 13, 2026

    I do hope you-know-who doesn't find out about the Netherlands. He might think he now owns it/them, although I very…

  5. pettsvaldo on Zimbabwe have blown Australia’s lid off againFebruary 13, 2026

    I feel like the poster child for the "if something goes wrong, never attempt anything like it ever again" approach…

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A cat finally being won over to cricket by the sheer ridiculousness of the Ashes
  • A cat continuing to maintain almost ostentatiously conspicuous indifference to cricket
  • Conspicuous indifference to Dan Lawrence’s gyrations from a human being

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RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A Device-like cricket-style bat in a Mexican corrido music video
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  • A cricket book alongside Australia’s most ridiculous Ashes captain (statue)

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  • A Device-like cricket-style bat in a Mexican corrido music video

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