Virender Sehwag is a bastard because he plays too many good innings to keep track of and there aren’t enough superlatives to spread among them.
Consider this: Sehwag’s last Test innings was 131. That was a failure.
His first four Test hundreds were all under 150; all failures. After that, he cranked out 11 successive hundreds in excess of 150. Five of those 11 were over 200 and two of those five were over 300. Can you remember them all? We can’t.
And what do you say about an innings of 195? It’s not ‘unsurpassed’ because it’s frequently been surpassed. It’s not magnificent because then what was the innings we always refer to as ‘the Virender Sehwag 201 not out on a shitty pitch‘?
Ordinarily, if a batsman’s well on track to hit the fastest 300 of all time, you’d feel it might even be acceptable to stoop to poetry. But you thought the same thing the last time Sehwag hit the fastest 300 of all time – he’s trying to break his own record. If you’d cranked out some flowery rhymes back then, where would you be now? You’d have no room for manoeuvre.
You have to reevaluate how you apply adjectives. We’ve a new system:
- 100 = okay
- 150 = good
- 200 = very good
- 300+ and feats of rapid scoring = special adjectives reserved solely for Virender Sehwag
To knacker up bowling figures and careers is one thing. To knacker up the English language is going some.