Virender Sehwag: a magnificent bastard who regularly induced pant-smearage in bowlers

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< 1 minute read

Virender Sehwag retired from a fairly broad range of formats today. It’s about as close as you ever get to a proper retirement in this day and age when the Ghosts of Legends Past can regularly be seen haunting cricket grounds throughout the world.

We have pretty much no time to write about this at length, which is a shame, because considering he was only a batsman, Sehwag was really rather fun. Few players have possessed his ability to transform bowlers into smeared-panted long-hop machines and that ability warrants comment.

Sehwag liked to try and hit every ball for four. That was pretty much his gameplan and the fact that he succeeded for so long with such a pig-headedly flawed approach speaks loudly of his talent.

To finish off, here’s a fairly random selection of Sehwag articles, several of which will reappear in the list of related articles generated immediately beneath.



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  1. Great player, but there seems to be an awful lot of players retiring from things that they haven’t done for years of late, can you really retire from something you aren’t actually doing anyhow? I would like to announce my retirement from being a teenager.

  2. Pant-smearage?

    That’s just the sort of image I was hoping for, straight after dinner (that’s tea or supper to those of you unfortunate enough to be in the North).

    Thanks for nothing, KC.


  3. Pants are trousers here in the land that really struggles with the English language. That makes it slightly worse IMO, and is aluminum really a word?

    1. There’s a particularly annoying ad here in the UK that plays on the aluminum/aluminium distinction.

      At one point, the English character tells the American character that the word ‘has a U in it’.

      We’d always assumed the writers were illiterate and hadn’t worked out that it was actually the second I that was the crucial distinction. However, upon watching it again, the British character then emphasises his point by saying ‘al-you-minium’.

      While this ‘joke’ would sort of work for a word like ‘duty,’ the fact is that most Brits don’t actually pronounce aluminium with this vowel sound. They pronounce it with the same ‘oo’ sound as the American. A far bigger and more obvious distinction is the -um to -ium change.

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