Did England just win the 2015 Ashes?

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Fans celebrate a bilateral one-day series obligation

They completely did. They fully did. What do you make of that?

And as a bonus talking point, Michael Clarke seems likely to retire at the end of the series. We presume he’s only waiting that long lest Steven Smith feel the pressure to follow suit immediately after leading the side to a demeaning defeat in the fifth Test.

We’ll write more later, but for now… [punches air, swigs tea, links to celebratory Ashes Venn diagram, looks forward to finishing work for the day so that he can celebrate properly, using superior liquids.]


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Alistair Cook: ‘Today’s not about me’

    Damn right it isn’t. Didn’t even take any wickets. Coat tail rider.

  2. Remarkable scenes. They’ve proved a lot of people, me included, very wrong.

    They took wickets and scored runs better than the other men.


  3. Boycott pissing me off now. Give Clarke his final match – he’s a great player, deserves his last bow.

  4. I am so proud to see my Venn diagram revived as part of these Ashes winning celebrations…

    …while recognising that today isn’t all about me…

    …not entirely about me.

    Did I mention that I was there for days 2 and 3 of Edgbaston?

  5. Sorry, that seemed to come out wrong.

    Well done on attending more of the match than Australia’s batting lineup.

    1. Indeed. Taking your rationale further, as Bert also attended day one at Trent Bridge, between the two of us we attended more of the two matches than Australia’s batting line up…

      …the Aussies only managed just over 200 overs across the four innings.

      I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and realise that it was all a dream and that instead England were in fact humiliated and humbled by a rampant bunch of braying Aussies.

    2. If only there was someone we knew, who was there, in particular during the routing on Thursday morning, to have witnessed events first-hand to prove they did actually happen. Sadly, in the absence of such a person, the awakening from said dream will remain a perpetual fear.

    1. Yes, absolutely!
      What are your images of other Ashes?
      The Flintoff ‘head back arms outstretched’ for 2005?
      Ian Bell trudging off the SCG more quickly than he came on on the last game of the 5-0 13-14 series?
      Shane Warne appealing after every delivery in Adelaide in 2006?
      Not sure about 2009 and 2013…

    2. 2013 must be Ian Bell raising his bat.

      2009 – Alastair Cook performing a forward defensive?

    3. Sorry, the Cook one should be 2010-11. So many Ashes, they’re basically merging into one giant ember.

    4. 2009 for me is Freddie on his knees at Lord’s

      2013 is Rogers missing that full toss which hit him in the gonads

      You don’t get a lot of ‘gonads’ nowadays. It’s all ‘unmentionables’ this and ‘amidships’ that.

    5. I don’t need any reminders of 06/07, or 13/14.

      10/11 should be something to do with that stupid sprinkler dance?

      Is it just me that is a) not surprised that England won, never having been on board with the idea that Australia would win easily anyway (and conversely, expected Australia to win in 13/14), and b) underwhelmed by the whole thing, because when we’ve won the Ashes 5 times in 10 years, it’s hardly as exciting as when we had to wait almost 20 years for it to happen once, and they seem to happen every six months anyway these days.

  6. Very relieved that this is one of the few situations to which Betteridge’s law of headlines does not apply.

    We f*cked them up good and proper, we did. Once we realised that they can only bat on flat pitches where the ball does nothing.

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