England haven’t become a bad Test team

Posted by
< 1 minute read

But there’s a fair distance between ‘bad’ and ‘good’. Even further between ‘bad’ and ‘the best’. England are in that grey netherland now and no-one really cares about shades of grey when you’ve arrived there from somewhere altogether brighter.

England’s batting was a lighter shade of grey in the second innings (if lighter is better), but it still hasn’t reached old sports sock grey and that’s what we consider the pass mark in Test cricket. It doesn’t take too much analysis to see where England are losing their matches. That’s four losses in a row now despite bowlers who could barely have performed better. There’s room for deterioration as well as improvement.

For many years, England’s bowling lacked adaptability. That has been rectified, but batting one-dimensionality seems to have crept in while everyone was busy mastering reverse swing. You push down one air bubble and another pops up.

The constant, frantic air-bubble-push-downery makes Test cricket unconquerable and that’s what provides the unparalleled intrigue. No shades of grey: Test cricket is fully ace.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Are you sure you’re English KC? Has it been too mild a winter? Such unbridled optimism is frankly rather vulgar.

    Wait till you lose 8 in a row. Then maybe you will just go cry in your beer. And there will be too many bubbles to push down.

  2. We need to start sending the Lions on as many tours to the subcontinent as possible. The IPL’s not really an option for the contracted players due to the schedule clash, else I’d recommend that too, despite my dislike of it. Can’t stay number one in the world when we can’t win squat in the subcontinent.

  3. What a wonderful world of test cricket we live in. India draws against South Africa, then gets thumped in England and Australia. Australia gets thumped by England, suffers horrendous embarrassment against New Zealand, then thumps India. England thumps Australia and India, then gets thumped by Pakistan and starts getting thumped by Sri Lanka. South Africa cant beat India at home, then thump New Zealand away. Australia meanwhile cant beat West Indies in a one day series. At the same time, Pakistan gets thumped by England in one dayers, and England gets thumped by India in one dayers. Bangladesh thumps both India and Sri Lanka.

    Long Live Chaos and home advantage. Thump.

  4. I love Vignesh’s persistence. But I’ve resisted in clicking his link. Has anyone actually visited it and if so, is it worth a look?

    1. If the fact that the Pune Warriors uniform has a silver strip on it is of interest to you, then most definetly yes, Vignesh’s link is worth clicking on.

    2. How long shall we wait before blocking his comments?

      Actually, we might just delete the links.

    3. I’d hate to think that you block comments because they are banal. Do you have a black list, like an electronic Bastille for those who didn’t get it? I had illusions of Utopian self regulation

    4. How many people have been blocked? What are the criteria? What’s the worst/most tedious comment you have ever received that has led to a blockage? We must be told.

    5. Don’t think we’ve ever blocked anyone, actually. If it gets a bit spammy, removal of links is just as effective.

      People can still say whatever they want to say then, but it usually transpires that they don’t really want to say anything.

  5. Are any other England fans secretly a bit happy about this? Especially those who started following cricket in the late 90s?

    To me it feels like we’re getting back to our real identity: general mediocrity studded with sudden attacks of spectacular hopelessness. The universe is returning to its proper alignment. All that success against Australia and India was starting to freak me out a bit.

    1. Even if we delight in the nature of Test cricket, we are most definitely not happy about England’s recent results.

  6. I’m not happy at all. England have put me in a foul mood all winter.

    Okay, maybe I’m secretly happy about that. Reverting to type.

  7. i think England should play a series at a neutral venue against South Africa, do they play cricket on the Isle of Man?

  8. Are we SURE it is just the batting that’s at fault, KC?

    Both Sri Lankan innings at Galle were allowed off the hook by some poor fielding and also less penetrative bowling.

    England should have been chasing 250 or fewer in the final innings and (theoretically) would have won had the target been kept to that challenging but more modest level.

    All three disciplines need more sub-continental experience IMHO.

    Agree 150% that test cricket is mint and agree 160% that “I agree” percentages over 100% are utterly ludicrous statements.

Comments are closed.