England need some E45 cream

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< 1 minute read
Jason Roy edges two cricket balls (ECB via Twitter video)
Jason Roy edges two cricket balls (ECB via Twitter video)

After snatching the second one-day international, England decided to test the notion that they can now win from any position by giddily launching themselves towards 20-6 in the third.

Now 20-6 is definitely a score you can win from, but ideally you’d be fielding when it occurred. South Africa got this part of the equation correct and duly won the game.

On the telly, they said that England’s slump was due to an outbreak of ‘hard hands’.

Skincare is just the sort of marginal gain they really should be on top of. To address this weakness, we recommend that they stock up on E45 cream and/or take up nice cushy office jobs that don’t require them to do any heavy lifting.


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  1. I’m examining the picture and wondering whether it is fair that England have to play the multiball version of this game, whereas the Saffers don’t?

    Perhaps Jason Roy hit the multiball switch by accident when he hit that glorious four at the start of the innings…the ball before the whole thing started to unravel at pace.

    Still, if you are going to have one shocker per season, best make it the third match in a three match bilateral series that you have already won…that’s what I always say.

  2. England seemed to get a grip slightly when SA introduced a bit of spin. I wonder whether if they’d continued with the seam onslaught SA would have despatched them for under a ton.

  3. Too much momentum can be a dangerous thing – just ask Princess Diana. England have wisely shed some momentum before it gets out of hand. Their next match is against the only country in the world to have been named after an 80s girl band (*), so they should be able to get some momentum back.

    (*) Unless there’s a Bananarama Republic somewhere. And the Spice Islands doesn’t count because a) that’s a 90s band and b) it’s not a country.

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