India’s seventh lowest total in Test cricket

All out for 76 in the morning session of day one. Eye-catchingly disgraceful.

At just 120 deliveries, this was also the 12th shortest innings in terms of balls faced for any side in Test history. In recent times, only England’s 46 all out against the Windies at Port of Spain in 1994 (115 balls) and the West Indies’ own 51 all out against Australia at the same venue in 1999 (118 balls) have been shorter.

This is more like it though. We support India over South Africa, but we support bowlers over batsmen and this was payback for the poor bastards who’d had to put up with the well-ironed bowling green of the first Test.

Thums UpDale Steyn, Makhaya Ntini and Morne Morkel must have been yelping like demented puppies who’d been treated to six bottles of Thums Up when they saw a hint of green on the wicket this morning.

Somehow controlling their excitement, they succeeded in putting the ball in ‘the right areas’. More specifically, they put it in the area called ‘the stumps’ as Virender Sehwag, Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman, Sourav Ganguly and Anil Kumble were all clean bowled.

Take that, batsmen. That’s for having it your own way pretty much all the bloody time.

Of course there’ll probably be some sort of investigation as to the standard of the pitch if it continues like this. It’s not these pitches you need to worry about. It’s the ones that produce scores of 540, 627 and 331-5. They’re the ones that are ruining cricket.

Update: Suave has captured Ganguly’s stout resistance nicely.

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12 Appeals

  1. That’s the ticket..

    It’s a great sight to see so many quality batsmen castled..

    Lord Snooty played on again, doesn’t he do this a helluva lot? always chopping on.

    It’s amazing how exposed you look, when you don’t move your feet on a green top.

  2. I hope Coca Cola are paying you good money for the advertising.

  3. King Cricket

    April 3, 2008 at 10:38 am

    If a single bottle of Thums Up is sold as a result of today’s update, we’ll be right onto them for the 10 rupees.

  4. Am so fed up of “in the right areas” phrase that this made me laugh a lot:

    “Somehow controlling their excitement, they succeeded in putting the ball in ‘the right areas’. More specifically, they put it in the area called ‘the stumps’ “

  5. Thanks for the link, oh benevolent king.

  6. I agree with the ‘right areas’ rubbish.

    Almost as bad as the England batsmen gobbing off about ‘expressing themselves’.

  7. Off topic big style, but did anyone else see this from todays Guardian.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qu4oVX-YHE

  8. King Cricket

    April 3, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    We’ve seen it linked a couple of times but have never got round to watching it.

    “Because, like Chris, it’s…’out now’.”

  9. Following the off-topic topic: I am a bit afraid of Chris Martin because I’m convinced that one day he’ll do a Danny Morrison (with Tim Southee at the other end) and take a game away from England.

  10. King Cricket

    April 3, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    Hopefully said game will be Hungry Hippos or Pop Up Pirate.

    We could live with that.

  11. “Articulate” I could live with also, but NOT “Taboo”. No WAY.

  12. They CHOSE to bat!

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