Kevin Pietersen has signed a four-month contract with England. If the ‘reintegration process’ goes okay, he might even play during that time.
Whatever happens, it’s pretty laughable to see so much self-important business speak used in the ECB statement. We were going to satirise it, but what’s the point? The following simply cannot be improved upon:
“With regards the issue of the BBM messages, due to the fact that Kevin had not retained the BBM messages, this matter has been successfully concluded through a binding assurance provided to ECB by Kevin.”
There you go. That’s how you sort these things out. If you think that Britney has been texting Tegan slagging off your new look, then confront her about it. Should she, like, totally deny it, and say that the messages have been deleted anyway, then ask her to provide a binding assurance to that effect. Situation resolved.