Let’s find out exactly what went on at Chennai Super Kings this season

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Chennai Super Kings (CSK) had a well-publicised very terrible IPL season. It’s interesting to see how they dealt with that.

CSK hold the records for most appearances in the play-offs (ten) and final (eight), but this year they were just about the worst team in the competition. This also makes them the most interesting team – particularly when it comes to the in-house social media “content” that the IPL teams all churn out.

IPL social media stuff is not supposed to be balanced. Every team is trying to say only one thing: “We are the best.”

So what on earth do you say when you are manifestly not the best? That is what we are going to look at today.

A week or so ago, CSK uploaded a video with the highly excellent title, “No Matter What, We Shall Play On.”

That is such a great title. What do you do if you can’t win? You just play on, don’t you? Pointlessly and miserably, you go through the motions and play on. CSK are at a point where that is all they have to celebrate.

The video gives us a unique glimpse into what life is like within a losing franchise.

Here are some of the great things that happen in it.

Sam Curran has a sad drink while red from the shins down

The drink is also red, so it seems safe to assume that it is going straight to his feet and if he keeps on drinking he will fully change colour and be able to chameleon his way out of difficult situations by clinging to the side of a London bus.

Imran Tahir gets a banana

Imran Tahir’s hair is out of control.

Imran Tahir considers a second banana

Imran Tahir is out of control.

Ravindra Jadeja enjoys a banana with Imran Tahir

Looks very much like someone is going to shout “peel” and then they are going to start peeling so that they can see who is quickest at peeling a banana.

Everybody for some reason plays football tennis for a bit

‘No matter what, we shall play on – only we’re going to play football tennis from now on because we’re so bad at cricket’.

A gargantuan nude Faf du Plessis signs full-size cricket bats with a massive sharpie

It’s the end of days.

13 comments

  1. I don’t know but if you put all of KXIP games against all of CSK’s and even RR’s then I think that you could compare them all and give the above about them too, but that is a matter for another article.
    One thing I will say is that it was Watson that let them CSK down mainly, he never really performed and he was one of their main batters (maybe he thought getting a high score would be crossing ‘the line’, we don’t know) but he only performed once and that was in the 10 wicket win (that is crossing ‘the line’ it really is) but the point is, is that he should have retired a couple of seasons ago.
    Anyway I think that they just saw the quote ‘Only dead fish go with the flow’ and thought they needed to perform rubbish to go against the flow. (the flow being them doing quite well)

    1. Only dead fish go with the flow

      Wouldn’t that result in the upper reaches of rivers being absolutely chock full of fish? Like, you’d be able to walk across them there’d be so many. I’m no expert on fish, but I don’t think that’s how fish work. I think that sometimes live fish have to go with the flow, so as to avoid the fishy congestion problem.

      Perhaps that’s what CSK were doing – trying to avoid a fish-crush at the top of the table. They realised that if every team finished first, lots of otherwise healthy fish would die unnecessarily of suffocation. And yes, before you all pounce on that one, fish can die of suffocation, as I know from my experiments. They can’t die from drowning, though. Makes you think, doesn’t it.

      1. I didn’t expect such an uptake on my comment but what Dave said is actually a valid point I overlooked.
        What Bert says as well about the healthy ‘fish’ would die from suffocation, maybe that would be good as it may be the end of MI and DC being quite good, but then it would just be a continuation of CSK being good.
        There seems to be a lot of maybe’s here

  2. Imran Tahir’s counter-intuitive combination of fulsome beard and wispy head-hair is a highlight, not only of this piece, but of the entire King Cricket website. It is quintessentially KC.

      1. Cheers yer maj, I was proud at the time! Did that require a clever photo crop or did it actually come that way? It was genuinely terrifying.

      2. Is there a way to love a comment in any other way than by way of reply? We can’t *like* things can we? I might have to stop coming here if we can.

      3. I’m frankly disturbed that this photo came in its current form. Anyone checked that there aren’t a count-on-one-handable number of stray horsemen a-roaming? Perhaps carrying a long, wooden cricketing accoutrement rather than the traditional scythe?

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