King Cricket

July 18, 2008 England / South Africa

Darren Pattinson jumps the queue

< 1 minute readWe’ll give Darren Pattinson a chance, but… (1) It’s not being Australian that makes someone a good cricketer. Australia themselves leave out plenty of Australians from their Test side. (2) Trent Bridge, where Pattinson plays half his cricket, is kind to swing bowlers. (3) If Chris Tremlett is first reserve, then

July 18, 2008 Australia / England

Brett Lee is a liar

< 1 minute readBrett Lee’s been caught out in an EVIL and WICKED lie. We always knew that genial smile concealed unparalleled deviousness: “We’ve got the Ashes coming up as well which we are not directly looking forward to right now because we have a few things in place that we have to

July 17, 2008 Match report

Middlesex v Kent Twenty20 match report

2 minute readSoviet Onion writes: I returned from a holiday in Sri Lanka last week, and within minutes of getting home I did what I usually do after work and went through lots of pages on Teletext (does anyone else still do this?). On page 354 I noticed upcoming cricket fixtures –

July 16, 2008 England / South Africa

Andrew Flintoff playing for England

< 1 minute readWe were hugely, hugely impressed with Graeme Smith and Neil McKenzie in the Lord’s Test. We don’t care what the pitch was like – just imagine coming out to bat after you’ve been so comprehensively trampled for three days. Imagine what would have happened to England in the same situation.

July 15, 2008 England / Extras

Mark Pougatch on TMS

< 1 minute readWe’ve nothing against Mark Pougatch personally, but he doesn’t bring a great deal to Test Match Special. It smacks of the Manish Bhasin debacle during the Ashes and the World Cup. On the plus side, at least he doesn’t sound like some throwback to the British Raj, unlike some of

July 15, 2008 England / India

The India itinerary – good and also rubbish

2 minute readEngland tour India over the winter. They play two Tests, which is clearly too few. They will also play seven one-day internationals, which is clearly a huge waste of everyone’s time. You can’t blame India. The last time England toured, the Test series was drawn while the one-dayers were so

July 14, 2008 Pakistan

Mohammad Asif is a dick

< 1 minute readThat was what we wrote as a little aide memoire to ourself and we see no reason not to use it as the title of this post. Mohammad Asif has again tested positive for ‘banned substances’. Rumour has it that traces of finest unobtainium showed up in his urine. Unobtainium

July 13, 2008 County cricket / England

What could be better than Ian Bell’s 199?

< 1 minute readIan Bell’s innings of 199 against South Africa was better than waking up on a Saturday thinking it’s a Monday and then realising the truth. It was better than hearing the phone ring and picking it up only to hear a dialling tone. It was even better than being asleep.

July 11, 2008 England / Regulars

Ravi Bopara does even more DIY

< 1 minute readIf you’re tired of updates about an indifferent Ravi Bopara helping to promote Nuts magazine via a National Shed Week PR stunt, then you might want to stop reading now. Because here’s Ravi standing outside a shed with his drill and his barbecue and also his rake: We’re hungry by

July 11, 2008 England / South Africa

Kevin Pietersen likes an occasion

< 1 minute readThat was as good as a certainty, wasn’t it? Kevin Pietersen likes a big match. He must be driven by stomach butterflies or something. We’re not quite sure how that would work, because even our rudimentary scientific knowledge tells us that there aren’t actually butterflies in there. He went out