Imagine you’re Sri Lanka. You’re four days into the world’s most uneventful bike ride. You’re in the middle of the Nullarbor Plain on a beautiful flat road and you can clearly see that there is nothing threatening for 50 miles in any direction.
You’re tootling along at about 8mph feeling relaxed, satisfied, but a little bit bored, when suddenly a European mole emerges from the immaculate tarmac in front of you. Shit!
You swerve and tumble off your bike, skinning your knees. Ooh, that smarts. As you pick yourself up, you see the mole ambling towards you. Maybe he’s coming to check whether you’re okay.
The mole kicks you in the balls.
Then he does it nine more times.