< 1 minute read One, befriend Troy Cooley. Two, hang out with him for a week. Last week, we said that Cooley didn’t seem to have done a lot for Australia’s bowlers. We partly retract that. Overall, they’ve had a pretty woeful series, but to teach Mitchell Johnson how to swing a cricket ball
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Johnson Watch feature dropped
< 1 minute read We are sad to announce that the Johnson Watch feature is being dropped after just one instalment. The main reason for this is that the protagonist failed to hold up his side of the bargain. He didn’t bowl badly while hinting that he could bowl brilliantly at some point soon.
Continue readingJohnson Watch – part one
< 1 minute read We figure we’ll formalise the Mitchell Johnson victimisation this year. Might as well. So here it is: ‘Johnson Watch’. Sounds a bit rude, but only really if you’re American – and as we all know, Americans don’t count. What passes for Mitchell Johnson news today is the following quote from
Continue readingDanish Kaneria outwits Mitchell Johnson
< 1 minute read One thing we don’t like about modern cricket is the long batting order. We want to see the best batsmen against the best bowlers and then we want the lower order to just fold so that we can get on to the next innings. In truth, these long batting orders
Continue readingMitchell Johnson makes friends in New Zealand
< 1 minute read From Fox Sports: “Johnson had come to the bowling crease for the fifth over and was greeted with the ‘wanker’ chant.” What’s the ‘wanker’ chant? Is there one particular ‘wanker’ chant that’s better known than all the others? We know a bunch of them. We’ve all been there, haven’t we?
Continue readingExperience in Test cricket helps players perform
< 1 minute read Those writing about cricket bandy the word ‘experience’ around until it ceases to have any meaning, but it’s easy to overlook the significant role it plays in terms of how a player performs. Experience isn’t just a statistic. It isn’t how many games someone’s played. It’s different conditions, different environments
Continue readingMitchell Johnson leaves a straight one
< 1 minute read You couldn’t make it up. Mitchell Johnson LITERALLY doesn’t know what a straight delivery is. James Anderson pointed one towards the stumps and Johnson, alarmed, thought: ‘What the hell is that?’ and padded up. The umpire’s finger rose. Johnson is probably still pondering this exotic trickery now; planning how he’ll
Continue readingDropping Mitchell Johnson
< 1 minute read Dear Australia, Please retain your erratic kack-hander. His ingenious bowling tactic of surprising the batsman with a delivery that isn’t a full-pitched, legside wide really lends itself to our unsophisticated ‘repeat until funny’ approach to writing a website. We have upwards of 200 “jokes” wherein Johnson grasps at the air
Continue readingMitchell Johnson finds top form
< 1 minute read Mitchell Johnson was allowed seven whole overs against Northamptonshire and didn’t bowl a single wide. Sure, he didn’t take any wickets, but when you’re up against batsmen like Alex Wakely and Riki Wessels, it’s bound to be tough for a bowler. Johnson’s got a really good chance of hitting the
Continue readingMitchell Johnson’s bowling problems
< 1 minute read Australia coach, Tim Nielsen, has some positive words to say about Mitchell Johnson, who’s currently trying to read this article on the bookcase four feet to the left of his monitor: “It wasn’t like he’d lost confidence and all the things were falling apart and he was bowling 85mph and
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