Will The Hundred be even a third as ludicrous as the film 300?

A lot of people think that The Hundred is ludicrous. To these people, we ask: “Have you not seen 300? That’s truly ludicrous.”

The film 300 (which we’ve just this minute found out isn’t actually called “The 300”) is about 300 Spartans attempting to fend off over 300,000 Persians.

Not great odds of success, you’d have to say. 300 people against 300,000 also feels like like the situation the ECB’s marketing department is currently facing. (Probably quite a lot worse actually.)

But the true ludicrousness lies in the detail. The Hundred brings us crisps, slogans and gibberish.

What does 300 offer?

300 stars Gerard Butler as King Leonidas. Gerard Butler is not an especially subtle actor and King Leonidas is not an especially subtle role.

Here is King Leonidas doing ‘thoughtful’.

Here is King Leonidas about two seconds later doing ‘angry shouting’.

Here is King Leonidas telling his mates, “Tonight we dine in hell.”

And it’s not just King Leonidas. Here’s Xerxes arriving in a manner that would put even Allen Stanford to shame.

We could probably draw some parallels with how the ECB sees itself here, but that feels a little like low-hanging fruit.

Basically the whole of 300’s fully ludicrous from start to finish. There’s also a tremendous amount of blood. (You can draw your own parallels there.)

If The Hundred is anywhere close to being a third as ludicrous as 300, it’ll actually be tremendous fun. We therefore conclude that The Hundred will probably only be about 10 per cent as ludicrous as 300, which puts it right on the cusp of being fun, but not necessarily over.


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17 Appeals

  1. What? 300 was in no way ludicrous. A bit over the top at times, yes, but come on, that’s not too bad, no? To be fair though, I had read Steven Pressfield’s “Gates of Fire” before I watched the movie and that might have colored my opinion.

  2. An appropriate analogy if I might say so, given that the snacks proposed for The Hundred…

    …when compared with a classic Ged picnic for a day of cricket…

    …can only be described as spartan rations.

  3. Without the film 300 there would be no Spartacus: Blood and sand. The greatest TV show of all time. Gratitudes.

  4. This all sounds way too violent for me. I prefer films where French women waft about the countryside on bicycles.

  5. The Hundred is unlikely to feature Lena Headley naked.

  6. If 300 was remade using only cricketers as actors, who should play Leonides? Kohli? Stokes?

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