Sri Lanka slightly taken aback by England attack

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The Nullarbor Plain - no dramas

Imagine you’re Sri Lanka. You’re four days into the world’s most uneventful bike ride. You’re in the middle of the Nullarbor Plain on a beautiful flat road and you can clearly see that there is nothing threatening for 50 miles in any direction.

You’re tootling along at about 8mph feeling relaxed, satisfied, but a little bit bored, when suddenly a European mole emerges from the immaculate tarmac in front of you. Shit!

You swerve and tumble off your bike, skinning your knees. Ooh, that smarts. As you pick yourself up, you see the mole ambling towards you. Maybe he’s coming to check whether you’re okay.

The mole kicks you in the balls.

Then he does it nine more times.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. You have got to be shitting me. Seriously.
    Chalk that one up to pressure. Australia may actually rise in the rankings because of this, so really this is like a win for us.

  2. Swann is the new Warne. Broad is the new McGrath. Tremlett is the new Post Office Tower.

    Remarkable performance though. England must be up to at least 47kg.m/s now.

  3. I wonder if Jrod is going to get through his new Disney gig covering this without swearing?

  4. Hold on – isn’t the Nullarbor Plain a large expanse of almost uninhabitable land, seemingly bearable only to aboriginal folk, which others try to traverse as quickly and uninterruptedly as possible.

    Whereas South Wales…

    …OK I see where this piece is coming from…

  5. How the hell do you lose by an innings when you’re only behind by 96 runs and the game basically lasts two and a half days due to rain?

    I should say hopefully Sri Lanka can turn things around, but I want us to beat them 3-0, so I won’t. Sorry.

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