2 minute read Match reports are still welcome. Keep them fairly short and remember, don’t mention the actual cricket. 668, Neighbour of the Beast writes: With weather set on sunny we set off for Essex with the hope of catching up with a few sub-Saharan migrants, chirping and exhibiting the usual seasonal territoriality.
Continue readingMonth: May 2008
Chennai Super Kings – what is a Super King?
< 1 minute read Yes, it’s just what you think. As it says on the Chennai Super Kings website: “[Super] enhances the qualities of the word it is prefixed to. Super Kings then is not just about royalty, but about absolute monarchy.” So there you go. Absolute monarchy. That’s what it’s all about. A
Continue readingSimon Jones and his injuries
2 minute read Andrew Flintoff is injured again. If only there were another English fast-bowling hope we could all idiotically and unreasonably crush with our mindless, unjustified hope. Step forward Simon Jones. Step forward carefully though. Don’t want you twisting an ankle or rupturing your pancreas or something. Simon Jones took 5-32 yesterday
Continue readingMatthew Hoggard hatches fiendish plot to get back into the England team
< 1 minute read He’s going to distract one of the Test team while they’re driving, causing them to have a car accident. “I need to keep knocking on the door because they’re in the driving seat at the moment.” We never thought he’d stoop so low.
Continue readingAndrew Flintoff bowling like a beast
< 1 minute read Not a cow or an ocelot or a langur monkey, but some sort of robotic beast specifically created to fire out intimidating back-of-a-length bowling. Paul Horton’s hundred looks even better after Durham were bowled out for 90. James Anderson took most of the wickets, but according to Lancashire’s captain, Stuart
Continue readingPaul Horton scores while bigger names don’t
< 1 minute read Lancashire 143 (thanks to Mark Davies), Durham 114 (thanks to James Anderson and Andrew Flintoff), Lancashire 293 and Durham 28-3 (Flintoff again). As it stands, that 293 looks out of place. What happened? It was Paul Horton, Lancashire’s opener. No-one else in the match has passed 40. Horton made 108
Continue readingRWT Key lbw bowled Martin for 24
< 1 minute read It was going down leg. We haven’t seen it, but it was definitely going down the legside. If anyone out there thinks that Rob Key was genuinely dismissed, they’d better steel themselves for the consequences. The consequences are that we will politely disagree with them.
Continue readingWho is James Tomlinson?
< 1 minute read Everybody’s asking. We’ve already told you. James Tomlinson was our mate at school. We played cricket using a fire grate as stumps. James spent a period carrying a small piece of fabric around in his pencil case. He said it was a dog. He said the dog was called ‘Turbo’.
Continue readingMark Davies materialises
< 1 minute read We’ve always liked Mark Davies. He was like the invisible man that only we could see. If he wasn’t injured, he’d be there, chipping away for Durham, taking 2-30 or 3-45 – nondescript-yet-efficient bowling figures that kept his first-class average surprisingly low. It was 22.63 before this match. But now
Continue readingLancashire v Somerset County Championship match report
2 minute read Match reports are still welcome. James writes: The start had been delayed, but when I arrived John Holder and Nigel Cowley were already on their way to the wicket, despite the fact that the main cover was still in place and it was raining quite hard. They gave up and
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