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Month: June 2023

June 30, 2023 Australia / England

Do England want Pat Cummins to bowl?

2 minute readThe attitude of England’s top order batters appears to be that if you aren’t Pat Cummins, you’re going to the fence. It’ll be interesting to see the impact of this as the series wears on. Australia’s most accurate bowler, Scott Boland, conceded 147 runs in 26 overs in the first

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June 28, 2023 Australia / England

It’s a bit grim when Josh Tongue is talked up as the quick one

2 minute readIt’s not just that England have fielded five right-arm seamers in this Test, it’s that the one bowling 85mph is being lauded as the quick one. Where’s all the pace gone? It’s there a leak somewhere? Let’s pull back the carpet and see if there’s 5mph pooling somewhere under the

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June 27, 2023 Australia / England

You can ignore Ollie Robinson – England probably won’t “go harder” in the second Test

4 minute readWe still don’t feel like we know Ollie Robinson all that well, but one thing we’ve concluded is that he is now pretty well established as England’s talker-of-bollocks in chief. Robinson somehow made the headlines last week for a tetchy and sweary outburst at Usman Khawaja after dismissing him for

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June 26, 2023 Australia / England

Ashleigh Gardner sees your 10 wickets in a match and raises you

2 minute readAfter securing a 268-run target via Tammy Beaumont’s 208 and Sophie Ecclestone’s second five wicket haul of the match, England were, if not happy, then at least steely-eyed and up for a challenge going into their second innings. Then Ashleigh Gardner took 8-66. Moeen’s Ali’s seeping spinning finger last week

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June 25, 2023 Australia / County cricket / Extras

The Kookaburra cricket ball – what’s the big deal?

2 minute readThey’re going to use the Kookaburra cricket ball for the next couple of rounds of the County Championship. Why exactly? Have you ever seen that godawful film where Nicolas Cage is a pilot and a bunch of people suddenly cease to exist? Nic Cage films range from actually good to

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June 23, 2023 Australia / England

Ellyse Perry is a lot less bothered than you’d think about getting out for 99

2 minute readThe climax of the last Ashes Test was so dramatic that they decided to play another one. No, not that Ashes Test climax – this Ashes Test climax. For England and Australia cricketers, Test opportunities come around either constantly or almost never, depending whether you’re a man or a woman.

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June 22, 2023 Australia / England

Why do we complain about declarations? Maybe because declarations feel easier to quantify

4 minute readFew declarations pass without public complaint, but Ben Stokes’ first innings declaration in the first Test of the 2023 Ashes was more controversial than most. People complained when it happened and then they really complained when England lost. England were 393-8, Joe Root was on 118 and Nathan Lyon had

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June 20, 2023 Australia / England

A lesson from Pat Cummins: even bloody awful Ashes cricket is bloody brilliant

4 minute readIt just ratchets up, doesn’t it? The climax of a tight Test match ratchets up the tension and anguish to the same point a normal sport can take you… and then it just gleefully and sadistically carries on ratcheting from there. It keeps on ratcheting for maybe another hour of

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June 20, 2023 Australia / England

Stuart Broad says England’s all-out attack will involve a fair bit of defence

3 minute readAttacking is great and defending is boring and attack is the best form of defence. Also – we don’t know if you’re aware of this – but sometimes defending can be a great way of attacking. But that’s still a type of attacking, okay? OKAY!? Swap ‘Bazball’ for ‘Numberwang’ and

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June 19, 2023 Australia / England

Did you see… Harry Brook’s first over?

3 minute readThe Ashes has already delivered a great many remarkable moments, but few have been quite like Harry Brook coming on to bowl early on day two. It wasn’t so much that Brook was getting a bowl – it was when. It was inside the first hour and after two quick

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Latest comments

  1. Sam on If you want to bat for England, bat for Surrey. If you want to bowl for England, bowl for Sussex. And if you want to open for England…April 15, 2026

    Bad news https://www.telegraph.co.uk/gift/3be120e67bef2c6e

  2. King Cricket on A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buyApril 13, 2026

    Have you seen the photo of him on the Beeb? Not the most flattering. He looks like Albert Steptoe.

  3. A P Webster on A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buyApril 13, 2026

    Was unbeaten with the bat in both innings as well. An up-and-coming all-rounder

  4. Sam on A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buyApril 13, 2026

    Decent performance from Lancashire's skipper. Looks a good prospect. Shame second division doesn't count.

  5. Ged Ladd on A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buyApril 9, 2026

    Clearly someone once said told Peter Svidler en passant [did you see what I did there] that cricket is like…

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • A cat finally being won over to cricket by the sheer ridiculousness of the Ashes
  • A cat continuing to maintain almost ostentatiously conspicuous indifference to cricket

RSS Match reports

  • Match Report: Ireland vs England, 2nd T20, Malahide
  • Keep your enemies closer | a 2019 Edgbaston Ashes Test match report
  • Match report: Sixes, Fulham

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • A very high quality cricket book with a lagoony backdrop
  • A Device-like cricket-style bat in a Mexican corrido music video

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Recent Posts

  • If you want to bat for England, bat for Surrey. If you want to bowl for England, bowl for Sussex. And if you want to open for England…
  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • Skullwatch: Jamie Smith looks safe then
  • It’s time for some unsettling disloyalty: If England’s leaders aren’t being ejected then some of the players will be… but which ones?
  • How can you, as an England fan, possibly tolerate this world without skulls?

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