< 1 minute read Here’s Ravi Bopara trying to do some tiling. Ravi! Stop! Everyone knows that you’re supposed to apply the adhesive to the wall and not to the tile. Now here’s Charlotte Edwards putting up the exact same tile. Q: How many cricketers does it take to put up one tile? A:
Continue readingAuthor: King Cricket
Kent v New Zealand match report
2 minute read Lemon Bella writes, or rather ‘wrote’. Sorry for the delay. The disorganisation that led to this match report’s delayed appearance is totally, totally uncharacteristic. Totally. TOTALLY… Anyway, Lemon Bella writes: Indian Skimmer and I went to the Kent v New Zealand match. On the first day there was quite a
Continue readingKevin Pietersen gets sledged by a worm
< 1 minute read “What did you say, you little bastard?” KP suffered a dislocated little finger and severe bruising to his fist shortly after this picture was taken.
Continue readingOwais Shah attempts to please his masters
< 1 minute read Bad dog. No Test career for you.
Continue readingEngland win or lose to New Zealand
< 1 minute read This is how you write a match report: a week early. England put on a staggering/staggeringly inept performance against New Zealand yesterday, after a topsy-turvy/one-sided contest in which English cricket/New Zealand cricket/cricket/the weather was the only winner. James Anderson opened the bowling and delivered a virtuoso performance/a never-ending supply of
Continue readingAustralia’s batting stutters again
< 1 minute read Is this the same West Indies side we watched letting balls through their legs at Old Trafford last year? With the honourable exception of Sir Shiv of Guyana they were a shower and were soundly beaten in the series by a rather flattered England side. Australia seem to have had
Continue readingPaul Collingwood talks all kinds of sense
2 minute read Unlike players in some other sports, cricketers quite often talk sense. They’re even capable of being interesting. That said, there have been some pretty ordinary thoughts expressed about this whole Stanford Twenty20 thing and about the IPL as well. Monty Panesar’s a bright guy, but his comments are fairly typical:
Continue readingLancashire Lemurs
< 1 minute read We’re going to the Twenty20 match on Friday, then we’re away for a week. As usual we’ve written stuff in advance, so you probably won’t notice or care that we’re gone. Two things: (1) When we say we’re not going to be here – we’re not going to be here.
Continue reading10 million pound winner-takes-all Twenty20 match
< 1 minute read Thanks to Sir Allen Stanford, England will play a West Indies XI for a £10 million prize every year for the next five years. Each player on the winning team will get £500,000. Wish we had the job of picking the England side. “You’ll get half a million quid. You’ll
Continue readingDurham v Sussex County Championship match report
2 minute read 668 Neighbour Of The Beast sent us what can only be described as a monumental match report. You people are picking on us because we admitted that we felt bad when we had to edit stuff out. Here’s the shortened version: As part of this year’s getting out and seeing
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