< 1 minute readWord is they’re all hitting it well in the nets. Confidence is rising. Big scores are due. With players of their class, hundreds are just around the corner. As soon as one batsman cashes in, the floodgates will open. Because that’s the way it works. All batsmen have got a
Continue readingAuthor: King Cricket
A Matthew Hayden quote shorn of context to make it sound weird
< 1 minute readWe’re not in the habit of being even-handed when it comes to Hayden. Why should we extend the courtesy of context to him when he never once apologises for being Matthew Hayden. “At the end of the day, two alpha dogs are never going to sit in a cage and
Continue readingLess tweediness from Strauss’s team mates
< 1 minute readRemember how Andrew Strauss was going to GET THE JOB DONE? Ceci sent more pictures, saying: “Squire Hoggard and the chav Vaughan. KP however will always be an alien life form to me. I’d like to say the rough edges are there as an ironic statement, but of course I
Continue readingMiracle Hair restoral
< 1 minute readMaybe it’s not a miracle, but you don’t spurn headlines like that, even if they are more obvious than the correlation between mobile phone advertising and incidences of depression. Darrell Hair has been restored to the Elite Panel of ICC Umpires. It sounds like he’s just going to see out
Continue readingWe’re in The Wisden Cricketer!
2 minute readThe Wisden Cricketer’s a proper, grown-up publication. Look, it’s actually tangible! Here’s the bit where it says that it’s “the world’s no.1 cricket magazine”. And here’s us! No, really. Look! And here’s Monty being conspicuously indifferent to it. Turning away OR closing your eyes would have been sufficient, young man.
Continue readingChris Lewis signs for Surrey
< 1 minute readChris ‘shaved head, no hat’ Lewis has signed for Surrey for this season’s Twenty20 matches. He’s 40. Younger readers might like to think of Lewis as being a sort of role model for the current West Indian team. He was born in Guyana, but it’s not that. With the ball,
Continue readingRyan Sidebottom does the necessary
2 minute readWe said after the last Test that you need spectacular performances to win Tests and you also need them to give you some breathing room in case of a bad day. England got away with one day of buttery fingers thanks to Tim Ambrose’s hundred and James Anderson’s five wickets.
Continue readingAnderson knacks his ankle
2 minute readYes, ‘knacks’. We’re not the BBC here, you know. We don’t have to use proper Standard English words, like ‘knackers’. Actually, we do like to use the word ‘knackers’, but only as a noun. For the verb, we favour ‘to knack’. It was one of those days where you’re waiting
Continue readingJames Anderson’s back
2 minute readAs in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything. To think it’s been almost a year since we last made that joke. How time flies. James Anderson has a bit of a reputation for – and you have to use these exact words – ‘spraying it around’. While this
Continue readingTim Ambrose makes himself at home
< 1 minute readJonathan Agnew wrote today: “Tim Ambrose might be one of the shortest men currently playing Test cricket, but this man can bat.” We’d go further than that. We’d say, ‘Tim Ambrose might have attended Merewether Selective High, but he managed to hit two sixes’. We like a good non-sequitur. Before
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