Ben Stokes makes things happen

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< 1 minute read
Photo by Sarah Ansell
Photo by Sarah Ansell

To which one can only say: who doesn’t make things happen?

We just made a typo happen, for example. Shortly afterwards, we made a correction happen. A littler earlier, we made a cup of coffee happen. Jade Dernbach makes wide long hops happen. Shaun Marsh makes hard-handed edges to the slips happen.

Everyone makes things happen. Having some sort of tangible impact on the world around us is what separates us from the ghosts.

But Stokes, he’s different. He makes things happen. The main thing he makes happen is that he makes commentators say: “Ben Stokes makes things happen.”

Today Stokes took one wicket and doubtless someone somewhere remarked on his thing-happen-making ability. The rest of the time he didn’t take wickets and you rather wish he would have.

He is however capable of making exceptional eye acting happen.


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  1. Is Ian Bell now the antithesis of this “making things happen phenomenon?

    Those Ben Stokes eye movements do not strike me as “exceptional eye acting”, they strike me as the eye movements of someone who is slightly embarrassed to be on camera in that situation.

    But I’m no expert on either matter.

  2. According to Chaos Theory, a butterfly flapping its wings in Japan can cause a hurricane in the Atlantic.

    England needs a boost here, a session or two of wickets followed by a dominant batting performance. That’s why I’ve been out in the garden all evening stabbing butterflies with a meat skewer. Someone has to make something happen, and I’m that someone.

  3. There was some other chap who used to play for England recentlyish who commentators were always saying “makes things happen”.

    “That whatsisface, he really makes things happen,” they’d say, when whatisface struck a boundary.

    When he took an athletic catch, as the radio commentators assured me that he was wont to do, “he makes things happen,” they’d beam. “And he went to school with Rihanna too, whatever his name is” (history obscures some vital details).

    He could bowl too, if memory serves. When he took a wicket they’d say “some chap who is currently playing for England makes things happen” (though “currently” being a good while back), and they’d mention he was an Old Alleynian too for good measure. Selectors must have liked him once, sumchap, I wonder how long he played for, and whether he lived up to all the promise they felt he had?

    Made things happen, though, deffo. So they said.

  4. I don’t know about you lot but I don’t like the way this game is headed. We really need one or two of those players who can put their hands up, come to the party and make something happen.

  5. Someone I know has been diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis. They were surprised that I knew so much about the subject, and wanted to know why.

    Does anyone have a more believable explanation than “it’s an in-joke on a website which, while ostensibly covering cricket, includes more references to ankylosing spondylitis than to most current Test cricketers”?

    1. Mike Atherton’s a sufferer. It greatly affected his career. You follow cricket and so picked up all sorts of detail during his playing days.

    2. You heard about it on University Challenge last year and were intrigued enough to read about it on Wikipedia.

    3. Doesn’t everyone know lots about ankylosing spondylitis? Doesn’t everyone know lots about most things.

      In short, make anyone who asks you “how do you know about ankylosing spondylitis” feel like the most ignorant buffoon who ever walked the planet.

      This approach will help you to make friends and also help you to influence people.


    If that’s not something happening, I don’t know what is.

    Nothing happened, however.

    1. Well, clearly I spaked too soon. He’s only gone and induced the wicket of Asad Shafiq straight after tea. Makes thing happen, that young Stokes.

      1. Two wickets for Stokes, two catches for Bell – it’s incredible, it’s all happening out there. I can’t spake… we all can’t spake…

  7. Two days left until my Sky TV subscription is no more.

    Wake me up when cricket comes back to BBC Two.

    1. Shirley your employer should pay for your Sky TV as an essential tool in your role as an investigative journalist?

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