< 1 minute readWe’re not in the habit of being even-handed when it comes to Hayden. Why should we extend the courtesy of context to him when he never once apologises for being Matthew Hayden. “At the end of the day, two alpha dogs are never going to sit in a cage and
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Less tweediness from Strauss’s team mates
< 1 minute readRemember how Andrew Strauss was going to GET THE JOB DONE? Ceci sent more pictures, saying: “Squire Hoggard and the chav Vaughan. KP however will always be an alien life form to me. I’d like to say the rough edges are there as an ironic statement, but of course I
Continue readingMiracle Hair restoral
< 1 minute readMaybe it’s not a miracle, but you don’t spurn headlines like that, even if they are more obvious than the correlation between mobile phone advertising and incidences of depression. Darrell Hair has been restored to the Elite Panel of ICC Umpires. It sounds like he’s just going to see out
Continue readingChris Lewis signs for Surrey
< 1 minute readChris ‘shaved head, no hat’ Lewis has signed for Surrey for this season’s Twenty20 matches. He’s 40. Younger readers might like to think of Lewis as being a sort of role model for the current West Indian team. He was born in Guyana, but it’s not that. With the ball,
Continue readingRyan Sidebottom does the necessary
2 minute readWe said after the last Test that you need spectacular performances to win Tests and you also need them to give you some breathing room in case of a bad day. England got away with one day of buttery fingers thanks to Tim Ambrose’s hundred and James Anderson’s five wickets.
Continue readingAnderson knacks his ankle
2 minute readYes, ‘knacks’. We’re not the BBC here, you know. We don’t have to use proper Standard English words, like ‘knackers’. Actually, we do like to use the word ‘knackers’, but only as a noun. For the verb, we favour ‘to knack’. It was one of those days where you’re waiting
Continue readingJames Anderson’s back
2 minute readAs in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything. To think it’s been almost a year since we last made that joke. How time flies. James Anderson has a bit of a reputation for – and you have to use these exact words – ‘spraying it around’. While this
Continue readingTim Ambrose makes himself at home
< 1 minute readJonathan Agnew wrote today: “Tim Ambrose might be one of the shortest men currently playing Test cricket, but this man can bat.” We’d go further than that. We’d say, ‘Tim Ambrose might have attended Merewether Selective High, but he managed to hit two sixes’. We like a good non-sequitur. Before
Continue readingSteve Harmison dropped
2 minute readThe graph doesn’t lie. Steve Harmison’s performances have been deteriorating for ages now. There wasn’t going to be an upturn. Last week Allan Donald revealed that Harmison had been scared while playing for England. There have been a lot of similar stories over the last year or so and they
Continue readingMatthew Hoggard dropped
2 minute readThis is a bit of a weird one. What do you make of this? In a climate where senior players are being unjustifiably indulged, Matthew Hoggard’s had a bad game and he’s out on his ear. The long, slow descent towards Harmison’s dropping now seems unnecessarily cruel in its inevitability,
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