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Category: Regulars

September 13, 2007 Match report

Kent v Yorkshire Pro40 match report

From what would appear to be our Kent Pro40 correspondent, Lemon Bella: I forgot that this match started an hour earlier than usual, so I didn’t have time to get lunch ready. This meant I arrived at the ground armed only with some dried apricots and a bottle of water.

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September 11, 2007 Australia / Regulars

Stuart MacGill with some bird on his arm

Ho ho ho. It’s an actual… Ah, you get the drift. Let’s discuss whose bird’s the nicer: Kevin’s or Stuart’s.

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September 10, 2007 England / Regulars

Kevin Pietersen with some bird on his arm

Ho ho ho. It’s an actual bird. We weren’t really referring to a woman as a bird because that would be demeaning. We were just alluding to that usage – which is of course perfectly acceptable. Worst post ever. Good job there’s absolutely no chance of our ever making this

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September 5, 2007 England / Regulars

Darren Gough’s sinister offer

It’s a shoe. We’re not scared of a shoe, Darren. There’s nothing wrong with having a shoe. It’s not like you’re trying to get us hooked on class A drugs or something.

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August 30, 2007 Pakistan / Regulars

Shahid Afridi puzzles over which glove’s the left and which glove’s the right

[There used to be an image of Shahid Afridi staring at some gloves here] Just try and cram one on. If you haven’t succeeded within two minutes try the same glove ON THE OTHER HAND.

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August 29, 2007 Match report

Kent v Somerset Pro40 match report

A match report, again from Lemon Bella who’s swiftly earning the title of ‘roving reporter (who tends to rove to the same destination)’: I was sat in front of two old ladies who couldn’t read the scoreboard or tell the players apart, so I had to help them fill in

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August 22, 2007 Regulars

A sign that says ‘moron centre’

Tom says: “This is a picture of me pointing at a sign saying ‘moron centre’ whilst wearing the one-day shirt. Rather apt I think.” This is just the kind of razor-sharp, incisive reportage we expect from our readers. It’s the first in a series of posts here at King Cricket

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August 21, 2007 India / Regulars

Gautam Gamhbir impersonates a cricket ball

Here we see Gautam Gambhir sidling up to a cricket ball in disguise. [At least we used to, but now the image has been removed…] If Gautam’s deception is successful, perhaps he’ll get to mate with the ball

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August 16, 2007 County cricket / Match report

Kent v Durham Pro40 match report

Lemon Bella’s sent in another match report: The day started off badly after I had to scrabble around under the seat of my car to find enough change for the car park ticket machine. They’ve put the price up by 50p. On the positive side, I not only found 50p

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RSS Features

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Get the DeLorean up to 88mph

A random selection of articles from 2007 onwards.

  • Chris Silverwood’s first big England plan: time travel
  • England revert to talking about the importance of preserving Test cricket as “the pinnacle of the sport”
  • The four stages of Steve Smith’s recurring metamorphosis into a batsman
  • Why support Pakistan in the World Twenty20 final?
  • Rob Key making the diving stop of his life

Manifesto

  • What Ben Stokes, Jack Leach and Headingley 2019 tell us about Test cricket
  • Runs don't have a fixed value
  • Play fewer matches
  • Keep the Ashes an 'event'
  • Play on good pitches
  • Why wickets, not runs, are what's important
  • Always play a spinner
  • What is bad light?
  • The second division of the County Championship doesn't count

Latest appeals

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RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A cat being conspicuously indifferent to the Boxing Day Test
  • Stanley being conspicuously indifferent to the Ashes
  • A cricket being conspicuously indifferent to the Home of Cricket

RSS Match reports

  • Cricket on a tea estate near Darjeeling – a match report
  • Headingley 2019 unwatched – a kind of match report
  • An Ashes-themed conversation starter pack on moral and ethical issues (a match report)

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A cricket bat in a wrestling match
  • A cricket bat lurking on a street corner
  • A ‘totemistic’ cricket bat in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock

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