James Anderson’s calf

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< 1 minute read
Photo by Sarah Ansell
Photo by Sarah Ansell

James Anderson has been for scans and has been found to be carrying a calf. He may therefore miss the Boxing Day Test unless it is born prematurely.

Either that or he’s slightly injured in the leg. This is weird and frightening because as a general rule James Anderson doesn’t really get injured.

Could this be the ripple in the glass of water that heralds the approach of the T-Rex? In this analogy the Tyrannosaurus is James Anderson’s retirement from Test cricket. Please don’t let it be lurching slowly towards us with its terrifyingly tiny arms. Please let the danger pass.


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  1. “He’s been carrying the team on his shoulders causing his calf to call it quits, nothing humerus about this issue” thundered the great Gluteus Maximus.

  2. James Anderson’s retirement

    Argh! Someone’s said it out loud! It’s definitely going to happen now.

      1. KC has an outstanding record of calling all matters cricket.

        Also, that means I’m 34 this year, fuck.

  3. Good choice of photo – Anderson with bovine expression on face – calf and all that – well done.

    But if he can’t play, England’s chances are much diminished from a position which was significantly below parity before this news.

    Perhaps this is all puff to put off the oppo, when Anderson proves to be as fit as a flea on 26th.

      1. Well, if size correlates with fitness, here in London we have some very big and therefore fit fiddles. The banking industry for example. Pension fund managers. That sort of thing.

        Whereas in the North of England, a place for which I have the uttermost respect, the fleas tend to be larger and fitter than the London variety, possibly as a result of the poverty that results from all the money being drawn to London, at least in part through the big, fit fiddles.

        Does that answer your question, KC?

  4. According to my dictionary Fit as a Fiddle means healthy and Fit as a Flea means very healthy.

    Hale’s a possible way to put it?

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